i think that, you are lovely.

Today I went in and got my graduation plan checked for the film application and I had some things wrong, despite my efforts, but after I got out I felt this pump of adrenaline. Because...


I am so close to being done with this montrous application process! Huzzah.

Speaking of filming stuff (f'in stuff)...I got to play art director yesterday!
Probably karma because I made a fuss when someone suggested I do art. ;)
So the real art directors took off and Jennie and I were left to pretend like we knew what we were doing. It was...a good experience.

Jennie is amazing. And I am not just saying that because she said that she reads my blog sometimes. She really is.

I need to learn Arabic, I've decided.

Oh, and I've actually hung out with my neighbors lately. As opposed to being anti-social like I have been since I've moved in. I am really proud of myself.

This is the best way I know to visually represent the girls of S204...
(at least our popularity levels)

this modern love, breaks me

Sometimes I just want to spell it theiyre and say, "to love with the whole English language!"

I don't recommend urbandictionary, there are a lot of raunchy things on there. But yesterday I was chillin' with some guys in my ward and they were looking stuff up. I suggested looking up names.

1.
lauren

a beautiful girl whom makes you go crazy .
ahhh, look at her , she's such a lauren . . .
goreous pretty exotic sweet well loved

2.
lauren

A exclamation of pure beauty and wonder
check out luke, he's a real lauren.

Life Club was a success of epic proportions. I will be updating our club blog with an update soon. Let's just say you can't go wrong with impromptu concerts in the sun that involve air powered keyboards, xylophones, tap shoes, and a harmonica.

Also, I am going to show off for a moment...

I made this shirt for a friend...

on the back it says: no sales tax!

and this one is for myself.

I might add something to the back. It's an old flag from the British Navy. And my personal motto is never give up.

There is an amazing flag store on Center street where you can get any kind of flag you'd ever want. And Down East was have a clearance on t-shirts, so...I felt inspired.

Lauren Likes.

I know I shouldn't waste my time with these things, but I just came to two obnoxious realizations in the past 30 seconds so I am taking a mental break.

Google, "[your name] likes to"

Lauren likes to spend time in front of the mirror. Here's a clip of her before she brushes her teeth.

Lauren likes to joke that it was the roommate that scared him into getting married so quickly

Lauren likes to play drums. ... Lauren likes to play drums. Lauren likes to play drums by Johnny F!.

Lauren likes to say, and did say the night I met her for cocktails and bag-chat, “Style is never lost, in the pursuit of wellness.”

Lauren likes to hang out with her friends and watch Chinese television ... Lauren likes to take your keys and pretend she’s leaving, saying “bye, bye, bye”

“Lauren likes to travel, and I like to do things that make her happy,” Joe said.

i think lauren likes to control her friends to make them live life how she feels it suppose to be and not that i am defending heidi but she stands up for herself and thats what got lauren mad and if you look closer on lauren life she isnt one to advice afterall she hasnt been able to carry on a successful relationship.

Lauren likes to feel at one with the whole world and is cordial and warm-hearted in collaborating with others

life is a maze and love is a riddle

Reason I love Cambell #27
he emailed me this list:
I will just throw out some ideas of what we need to do from here:
1) Find out people's availability
2) Find out how many PA's will be needed on each day (based upon what each department needs)
3) Assign PA's to specific departments for the days they are available.
4) Eat some ice cream
5) Organize rides/car pools for those who do not have cars.

also on my to do list for today:

1) New Testament Test
2)Watch Grand Illusion or Bright Leaves
3) Inspector 42 Meeting
4) Twilight (because I previously refused to pay more than a dollar to see it, but figure I should see it)

I have tension issues...I think there are 1.5 dozen knots in my shoulders/neck and I have no idea what they're doing there.

Today in my film/storytelling class we talked about telling family stories. Recently I tried writing a family story that I've never really been able to voice before. Afterwards I called my mom because I haven't talked to her in a while.

I am really glad to have people in my life who know me and understand me. I was complaining (because I have the bad habit of always complaining to my mother [she's the only one who listens]) and my complaints make sense to her because she raised me and realizes that I have needs that are unique, such as wide open spaces, brightly colored clothing, and people to laugh with.

We talked about trying things, not just food or activities, but also "trying" people, because sometimes people you wouldn't think twice about are actually quite fabulous individuals.

After complaining I told her thanks for raising me not to be lame. I owe my parents so much for my bizarre taste in food and my sense of adventure and humor. Not to mention my good looks ;)

Then she said,
"Life is fun with you around, just enjoy it."
which is swell advice.

and a million more wishes.

Things I want Right Now:

.to know everything I am supposed to for my linguistics midterm (it's half my grade)
.for hyrum to make cookies
.to be done with the boring part of the film application
.to be passionately and recklessly in love
.to build a really kick-love fort
.to not need to sleep
.or eat
.a puppy to snuggle with
.for E to stop ruining my life
.a really great mug
.to not fail at sewing
.for everyone to be happy

Things I don't wish for (because I already have them)
.really great dental floss
.great friends

my adorable 50 cent polar bear mug broke within a day of me owning it.

maybe my life is a tragedy afterall.

love is a four letter word

Words like "darn" "frick" and "heck" have ovetaken the vocabulary of those of us who wish to refrain from using "cuss words" but these are really just words that somone decided to be less vulgar (probably because they sound like breeds of chickens).

I have come up with a substitute that is guaranteed to eliminate all harshness from your vocabulary.

Replace your curse word of choice with love.
Literally, replace it with love.

Examples:

Loveit!
What the love?
Love you!
You're so lovin' annoying.
Ohmilove!
I lovin' hate that.
Go to love.
Love!
It's hot as love in here.
Sonuvalove.
That's lova sweet.
Well I'll be loved.
There's no way in love...
Love it all!
Love happens

Just try sounding angry when you say one of those.

Lyrics I appreciate right now:

hanging from a tree I see you
you look upside-down
oh what a shame that from this angle
your smile should appear a frown

the ground looks like the ceiling
and the sky kind of looks like the ground
but the blood keeps running to my head girl
won't you please come and help me down?
-swallowtail catastrophe



remember that day back in 6th grade?
they told you that i liked you
i sadi it wasn't true
but it was a lie if i said i did not love you
yes it was a lie if i said i did not
time quickly passed by until our freshman year
i finally said the words
it seemed you did not hear
i remember my friends were so mad at you
for letting me down
i held you up so high
but you couldn't see around
don't go away
i watched you carry the casket to my grave
and i knew you were still the same
but me i've change so many different ways
and i'm sorry you had to hear this
-Something DeLOREAN

como estas, miguel?

By popular demand (from someone who's more demanding than popular. haha!...I just felt way too clever when I came up with that) ...A small update, Mexico pt 2

We made a tight regatone music video with the orphans. Which I will hopefully get a hold of soon, because I shot and edited it and I am pretty proud.

the cast:

We're pretty legit and bad a and all that shiz. Word up. We brought tons of bandanas and plastic bling. Not to mention the kids busted out their inner thug....And can dance quite impressively.

i adore this kid:
Got a moving shot of him ripping his bandana off and throwing it to the grand. All slow and dramatic. He's a born actor.

Then we got dressed up all snazzy and anounced each kid individually and cheered for them as they walked down the red carpet.

It was a night of stars that involved the worlds shortest beat boxer...

We watched the movies and I have to say as a filmmaker, you couldn't have asked for a better audience. There were massive cheers and laughter and the kids absolutely adored seeing themselves on screen, even though a lot of them were shy during the filming process.

I can't explain it...So hopefully the video will be up here soon.

next up...Valentine's Day! I know, I should update all at once, but I'm behind on my Inspector 42 report that's due soon. Also, staying out until 4.30 in the morning hinders my memory skillz.

livin' la vida loca

Slept for hours and am now feeling loads better. I hope the good feeling lasts.


So, Mexico.... :)


Left from the Wal-Mart parking lot at around 5am. Brooke, Cait, and I were in the back and fell asleep for a good five hours. Which we never heard the end of from the two in the front.


I couldn't have picked better people to be in a car with. Chris was on his 13th trip with Kaiizen to Mexico and knew everything about everything. Ellen was friendly and hilarious and liked cuddling. And I adore Brooke and Cait. We bonded quickly by all sharing our love lives and about our families.


Once in Mexico we ate at an excellent taco shop. This crazy guy decided for some reason that he was going to annoy me as much as possible, and kept tapping me on the opposite shoulder (because that never gets old). Also ate a bite of a raw cactus. We spent the night on the beach under the stars...and froze most of the night.

Day 2 - We "roll out" and hit up a school near the orphanage. It was mass chaos at first (and, well the whole time mostly). We all got swarmed by children. Seven boys would all attack one guy and try and knock him over.

They had us teach the classes and our group was over 2nd and 3rd grade. We wrote a story about a Super Vampiro who fell in love with a girl and had a blue car. Then we drew pictures.

I made friends with a boy named Jarome, he spoke perfect English because his "dad is a gringo". He was really good at drawing squids.

After that we had a carnival of sorts and there was face painting, sidewalk chalk, sack races, etc. etc. More chaos and running around, just the kind of thing I love.

I kept speaking a strange mix of Spanish and Italian with an English accent and the kids just gave me funny looks.

to be continued...

Mexico was fabulous...Of course.

One problem: since yesterday I have had a pretty bad stomachache (even for me) and I kind of want to die...maybe. You know the Pepto Bismal theme song? That's how I feel.

I think today will consist of a lot of laying around and not moving. And trying to do homework.

Mezico update later

"well, my phone's about to die..."
"sounds like you're about to die."
"thanks, mom."

being sick isn't fun...at all

took the midnight train going anywhere

In an hour and a half I will be headed to the Wal-Mart and from there to Mexico...Where I will spend a couple days playing with and mentoring orphans and then back home again.

I actually don't really know what part of Mexico we're going to. Or what exactly we're doing. I just felt this need to go and acted on that impulse.

I make a lot of decisions impulsively.
But it always (usually) works out.

My life is preoccupied with film application stuff at the moment.
Tom (Russell) thought I was already in the program, which I think is a good sign.

Here I go to sleep on the ground and not shower for four days. Yesss.
Just what I need.

it's been a long time long time

Reasons I love the Library:

.Some guy just stood in the middle of the room pumping his arms triumphantly

.Another guy has been talking about his family's dog, Scooby, for five minutes...Then another five minutes discussing how their other dog, Patch, got his name.
Oh, now he is talking about kittens.
"they're actually really cute, I'm not a big cat fan but...Oh, you like cats better than dogs? Yeah, because you don't have to take care of cats. The only thing with them is that you have to worry about them scratching up your carpets. Because a lot of places now won't let you buy them if you're going to declaw them. But now they have these things that are fake plastic nails that go over the claws, but they fall off a lot. But I guess it's becoming a new thing...In the cat world."

I should have picked somewhere less distracting to study.

Word of the day (coined by moi): Shamditioner n. 2-in-1 conditioner and shampoo.
It's great because it sounds like a swear word.

you're gonna love me.

I found a dress at DI today for $4.
It is amazing in every way possible.
I also found clothes for my orphan.

I have 2 papers to write.
I also have 3 tests to take.
all before I leave at...4:45
in the morning on Thursday.

Today I picked a verbal fight with a good part of my FHE group. The climax was when Elizabeth went storming out and slammed the door. And in classic Campus Plaza style about half a dozen people were watching.

If I could profess my love in any way...I would do it by busting out a song from Dreamgirls. I really, really wish I could sing like a black woman.

Quote of the day:
"You just got semi proposed to. Have a cookie!"

Life in our apartment is rarely dull.

You can buy 120 tea bags for $20 at stashtea.com and that pleases me greatly.

take me away, take me away

Working on films is incredibly rewarding and unrewarding at the same time.

Because it takes over 20 people and 20 hours of shooting (not to mention pre and post production) to make five minutes of a movie.

But it makes you feel like you're really cool.

And that's pretty much all I want out of life.

Plus, there was free Noodles and Co.

and film people are really cute.

Did any of you see that insane girl running barefoot from the HFAC to the Maeser building.

Oh, that was me.

what's that writing on your everything?

Last night I wrote a schedule that looked like this:

9:30 print off homework pictures
10:00 112 lab
11:00 lunch with Ang and Ev
painting with Whitney
2:20-5 Casting f430 hfac
5:30 Life Club 202 Maeser Bldg
6:00 PA Meeting 5444 library
8:00 the Office and 30 Rock

at 11:00 I actually had to make a quick stop to the hfac to try and find someone I'd never seen before and talk about script supervising.
"I am coming down the stairs wearing a leather jacket."

Then a potluck of sack lunches in the Wilk. Where we talked about highs and lows.
"High: I got to play racquetball. Low: I hit myself in the face."

Painted the town blue with Whitney and Katie. By town I mean three walls. Katie was exceptional at getting paint all over herself and everything.

Casting was super fun even though not many people showed up. I'd definitely like to be more involved in the pre-production side of things.
"Did that guy just wink at you? How does he know we're not dating?"
"Uh, well, there is a table in between us."

Life Club was a success!! Huzzah. I only made a little bit of a fool of myself. We've just got to get more people involved. And find a time more people can come. If you are interested EMAIL US!! We will keep you updated on our happenin's.

The Office and 30 Rock were hilarious tonight. Completely brilliant. If you missed them watch them online!!

"Good thing my feelings regenerate at twice the rate of a normal man."

"Sorry I smell like frosting. I just love to bake."

"I'll laugh and then he'll laugh and then I'll put my mouth on his mouth."

I am SO tired.

wrote a blog post about how great life/today was
and it disappeared...

i'm confused.

run. run away with me.

Alyssa and I, not wanting to do homework on a Saturday afternoon, instead came up with applications to date our roommates. They're kind of joke, obviously. With general questions and then three roommate-specific questions.

But we've gotten seven applications back so far and they are HILARIOUS.

Some highlights:

Describe how you brush your teeth and your toothbrush color.

Sexily. Green.

In 50 words or less explain the plot of Pride and Prejudice.

Darcy > anyone else.

How do you feel about frolick through a field of daisies?

If it's with a girl, great.

If you're interested in an application come by or drop me an e-mail. ;)

Another joke turned successful...We made a goal for the week that was to "get a boy"

Well A and A both pretty much did...And it only took them until Tuesday.

Just goes to show what goal setting can do.

Al-dawg even has him watching Gilmore Girls!!

Lynzie was stunning tonight. Of course.

Packed myself a lunch for tomorrow and now I'm off to edit my mini-mentary and hit the hay. Because tomorrow I am booked solid from 9:30am-7pm with about ten minutes for breathing in between.

Oh, and I need to learn how to be a script supervisor by Friday.

ode to an orange...

Today for film we read Ode to an Orange by Larry Woiwode and also watched A. Todd's short film of the same thing.

It describes all the sensory aspects of eating an orange.

"The packed heft and texture, finally, of an orange in your hand--this is it!--and the eruption of smell and the watery fireworks as a knife, in the hand of someone skilled, like our mother, goes slicing through the skin so perfect for slicing."

I trot back home with a new appreciation of oranges and all they have to offer...Grab one from the fridge, go to eat it and...

start choking, orange pulp lodged halfway down my throat.

Kind of ruined all my orange appreciation for the day.

51. If I cussed I would say hell and damn all the time because I want to be like the leading man in classic old movies. Or a cowboy.
52. I love recycling and have hugged trees on numerous occassions.
53. If I had to marry a voice it would be George Clooney's or Alan Rickman's.
54. I love carbs.
55. I used to have nightmares about velociraptors in letterman's jackets.
56. I've never had anyone close to me die (that wasn't really old) but listening to Sufjan Steven's Casimir Pulaski Day makes me feel like I have.
57. Sometimes I want to show people pictures of my dog on my phone, but then I remember that I don't want to be one of those people.58. But it's different because she's really unique looking and it's hard to describe her without a visual.
59. I once went on three dates in one day, and it was stressful.
60. I believe Venice is magical. But would never want to live there.
61. I love going to places I've never been and just wandering around. Once my cousin and I wandered all around Rock Springs, Wyoming looking for an ice cream place. We didn't find one.
62. I am dyslexic with numbers and will turn to 391 when people say 139.
63. I always ruin surprises.64. I played trombone in high school and we won state every year.
65. I actually kind of miss listening to Peter talk about frescos in Italy, "look, he's like a superhero saint flying around on that cloud...going to save this kid that got his head munched on by a dog."
66. When we climbed to the top of Saint Peter's Cathedral we counted 666 steps. Which we were about to write the next Da Vinci Code about...before we found out we counted wrong and it's really 500-something.
67. Most people are in my phone by their nicknames and have their own ringtones. At one point everyone had Harry Potter themed names (e.g. Dumbledaddy, Hilarmione).
68. I deleted half the contacts out of my phone this summer because all my friends went on missions.
69. I will try any food once.70. But I don't like meat. 71. I don't see the point in walking places when you can bound, frolick, run etc.
72. Sometimes I narrate my life as I am walking aro
und, or think of a song that would be playing.
73. I love getting into heated arguements about things that don't really matter.
74. I hate crying in front of people more than anything, unless it's my mom.
75. I heard the song Bruises by Chairlift on the radio when I was driving to Fred Meyer this Christmas break and it was instant love.

26. I am terrified of fish.
27. This summer at least half a dozen boys were in love with me. They were all under 12 and none of them knew my real name.
28. I love jumping out from behind things and scaring people. I got this trait from my mother.
29. I kind of hate tag games because I don't like being chased.
30. I desperately want to travel to the Middle East before I die.
31. Probably because I was almost born in Saudi Arabia and I am 1/4 Syrian.
32. People always try and guess what nationality I am. No one ever guesses Syrian.
33. About 1/3 of the people I meet think they've met me before or that I am related to someone they know.
34. My favorite places to consume edible things in Provo are India Palace, Gloria's Little Italy, and Subzero.
35. The only time I truly felt heartbroken was my senior year of highschool. I thought he was going to ask me out and instead he told me he was in love with someone else. Afterwards I walked alone, literally through the entire school, from one side of the school to the other. The hallways were deserted and it was terribly movie-esqe.
36. I love building forts
37. When I was little my brother and I would lean our couch up against the love seat and call in Pride Rock. It usually made my dad mad.
38. If I get into the film program this semester I plan on jumping up and down several times and then hugging the closest 10 people.
39. I have never successfully tackled anyone.
40. I have often tried.
41. When I like a song I will listen to it over and over.
42. I hate climbing fences
43. I have kept a blog since 2002 and it's terribly embarassing. I put the one that spans 2002-2004 into a word document and it was over 230 pages.
44. I love listening to people talk about themselves and considered psychiatry as a career.
45. I sometimes manage to give good advice, but have the hardest time making decisions for myself.
46. In highschool I would always make humorous comments in class, that only the people around me would hear. However, whenever I shouted the answer to a question the teacher never heard me either. Even if I said it several times loudly.
47. I always want to create scenes in public places. Like staging a fake fight or spontaneous dance parties.
48. If I could have any ability I would want to be able to sing really well. So I could continue to work on making life a musical.
49. When I was little my favorite music was Cats, Les Miserables, Tina Turner, and the Lion King soundtrack.
50. When I was little I changed my middle name to Simba.

isn't dead really just alive?

Oh, Saturday.

I am watching the Eukanuba AKC dog show and actually enjoying it.
Some childhood things never die.

Went to Gloria's for the first time since last Winter semester. They've expanded and spiffed up the place. But I kind of miss the tiny cramped space, with the cheesy decorations, and the extra setting in the attic with glow-in-the-dark stars on the slanted ceiling.
Also, our waiter's name was Goose. Seriously.

I live on the second floor and Campus Plaza is set up in such a way that there are two squares of concrete walk way connected together. Which is really convenient for...scootering! So we watch our friends go scootering along and then they stop at our door, "Want a ride?" (Keep in mind we are talking Razor scooters) Long story short, we hopped on their backs and went scootering along piggy-back style and it miraculously didn't end in Alyssa or I toppling over the railing and down to the first floor. It was quite exciting, actually.

Then, listened to good music after waiting for ages in the cold. By the end of the concert I was spacing out harcore and thinking of different ways I could frame shots of the crowd. Film is the only thing I seem to be able to even remotely focus on right now.

Being at Velour made me miss the Jacobs and dancing crazy at concerts.

Got to see Mr. Dungbeetle again! I really miss the old soundtrack though. Sigur Ros was perfect for the "flying" part, and really touched me the first time, so it was weird not to have that again. But it's so good. I am, however, terrified of Schizophrenia...Nothing else makes me feel quite as vulnerable as mental illnesses it bothers me that people can loose control of their minds. It's the most tragic thing I can think of. But I am so grateful for Tom and how he portrayed it. Basically, they need to get this movie distributed so everyone else can see it!!

The Russell boys are amazing musicians and I would marry into that family in a heartbeat. For the first time in my life I was okay listening to country. And I really appreciate the Sufjan-y vibes they gave off. I just keep listening to Elizabeth over and over.

I was reading over my old livejournal to see what I said about Mr. Dungbeetle the first time I say it and I came across an entry from when I found out Doug had lung cancer. And what a horrible experience it is knowing someone you love dearly is dying slowly...And loosing their hair.
I ran away to Italy and when I came home he looked so much better. And I wanted to cry I was so happy. But, I never seem to be able to cry when I want to.

Once I cried for about two/three hours straight. I just couldn't stop. Half of the time in front of complete strangers including this boy who looked like Luke Wilson in Royal Tenebaums. The second half in the car with my mom, who bought me fries and a grilled cheese sandwich to make me feel better. It was the most embarassing thing ever.

But it is so amazing what people can create when they experience great tragedies.
Now, I should go to bed before I feel anymore emotions today. ha.