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Sep 29, 2009

ohhhh my gosssssssssssshh.
i miss elizabeth like nobody's business.

i need her to come back to me.
16 months to go.
"In fact, were it to have a liberal arts degree and a steady income, a Vespa scooter would possesses every important quality that a white person looks for in a spouse."

--Stuff White People Like

Sep 27, 2009

and while He lives, i'll sing

I don't talk religion much. Which I think is a shame. Because I think the world, and people who know me particularly should know...

I love religion. One in particular, I'll admit, but it just seems impossible to me to go on living without some sort of structure or reason or guidelines of some kind. Don't get me wrong, I am rebellious by nature and all about freedom and free thought and whatever else nonsense I picked up in Oregon.

But, when it comes down to it...Rules make us more free. If we stay on a certain side of the fence, we won't get scraped or poison oak. This is nothing against adventure and experiencing life, it is common sense. If you roll around in a poison oak plant, you will have an allergic reaction. By all means, go ahead and test limits and figure things out for yourself. But isn't it easier to learn by someone else's example than getting hurt repeatedly yourself? I think so.

Today I rolled out of bed with a completely achy body and heart. Yesterday, from 10am-7pm I aided in the construction of a space station dormitory, after that I held up a boom mic for a couple hours, and then did a lot of hard thinking that led to no personal conclusion until about 3am. Hence, the tired/achiness.

But I went to church almost on time even (it was 9:00 when we could see the building, that counts, right?). First we talked about selflessly serving. It is so easy to loose yourself and your own problems when you serve others. It is so worth it even if it means going outside our comfort zone or spending time we don't think we have.

Then, we talked about following the guidance of the prophets. Yes, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints believes there is a prophet here on earth today that can receive revelation for the world. He is the watchman on the tower, because he can see things we cannot. Not because we shouldn't make decisions for ourselves, on the contrary, decision making is one of the most important things we can do. Agency is a precious gift that has been given to us to be used freely and as often as possible. However, there are loads of people who know more than us and have a much greater view of the big picture.

This next weekend Latter-Day Saints from all over the world (there's about 13 million these days) will gather in Salt Lake or around their televisions, radios, computers...To hear the prophet and his twelve apostles along with other general authorities and leaders of the church counsel and give advice. These topics will most likely be on prayer, faith, service, family unity, avoiding pornography and other family destroying practices, being your best self, knowing our Savior, and the importance of loving our neighbors.

Say what you want about Mormons, but I can tell you for a fact that we are as Christian as they come, and we're really just like everybody else.

The last meeting of the day was sacrament, where different speakers from the congregation are asked to speak. This week we also had a special musical (or specical, as it was announced by our adorable 2nd counselor in the bishopric). I Know That My Redeemer Lives. And I sat there and knew that no matter what else happens in this life. No matter how many imperfections we have or mistakes we make, our Savior, Jesus Christ, can redeem us from all our faults.

This is why I see nothing to be sad about in this life.
This is why I am not afraid of dying.
This is why I know the value of human connections.
This is what drives my life...and even more than that, my outlook on life.
This is why I am at BYU instead of in LA.
This is why I go to church for 3 hours after getting 5 hours of sleep and actually get something out of it.

I promise you, that there is a higher power looking out for each and everyone of us. Not just a higher power, but a loving Heavenly Father. Who is the Father of our spirits. He knows us. He loves us. He sent his beloved son Jesus Christ to suffer and die for us so that we might be forgiven of our imperfections. Because Jesus has experienced everything we ever have or will, he truly understands what we are going through. Always. And exactly. We are never alone and we need not be afraid of feel inadequate...Ever.

I could go on...for ages. Because, this church is the greatest thing that has ever happened to me.
Not because someone told me it is the greatest thing, but because I have felt and experienced it for myself.
I know that there is no better plan for life and after life than the one I now believe in.
It makes me happy every day of my life.

In case you missed the link above and want to know more: mormon.org
Or you can talk to me.

Next door the ward choir is practicing and I can hear the hymns they are singing.
This really is the life.

my life is movie: part 3

I am sitting in my car feeling all cry-y
and I watch as my fuel gauge drops immediately from above F to below E
(i had gotten gas an hour prior)
which I decide is a visual representation of my life
and an ample time to actually start crying
(of course) Casimir Pulaski Day is playing
i am crying in the bathroom.

if not for the free recess's pieces and finally getting to be a boom mic operator
today might have been the worst ever.

but, even as i type this, i know i don't really believe in completely horrible days.
today, like everyday, was good.

Sep 23, 2009

things i love #87

When people ask you to watch their stuff when they don't know you.

Is that really any better than just leaving it?

Sep 22, 2009


oh, and more important than anything else today... in 20 minutes it'll be (officially)...


season of love, joy, happiness, and the most perfect weather ever.
apple cider, apple everything, sweaters, rain, colorful trees, crisp air
and so much more that i cannot even begin to describe.
hooray for the greatest season of them all!!

this is post 400 and it's only been 15-16 months?, crazy!
i promise this is the last post for today.

My Life is a Tragedy

.I got a boot on my car when I was parked in my own parking spot. fine: $50.
.My bed collapsed in the middle of the night...
.When I fixed it it collapsed again
.I got transferred to a business that is now dying. Whereas where I was working before is doing quite well for itself.
.I will never be happy with how much footage I'm getting with my doc(s)
.My dog is dying...slowly
.My best friend is half-way across the world, killing cockroaches.
.Almost everyone else I know is leaving for missions as well.
.I probably have the swine flu or mono or something similar
.My iPod is trapped in the building of the business which is dying.
.All but one pair of jeans I like have holes in them
.All my clothes are wrinkly
.I have more clothes than I have room for
.There are bug bites all over the top of my feet because I wore flats out in the middle of nowhere in the middle of the night
.I don't know how to use a GL2
.Or Final Cut
both of which are important to my current choice of study
.and I can't write very well anymore

But, mostly, I can see the humor in all these things.
And I've got great friends, so at least I'm not Job.

movin' on up

I am designing a 419 (basically a senior/final project)...

K, now that I got that over, I'm really excited!!
it's my first semester in the program and i'm doing something legit.

(It's about old ladies who have it in for each other
extremely gross and extremely hilarious)

no explanation necessary.

This Way Up - Watch more funny videos here

Sep 20, 2009

Now I understand why everyone hates University Parking Enforcement.

I got booted in my own parking spot.

Not. funny.


Recently in my film class we talked about "beats"
These are the points in the story where the character or plot changes permanently.
Things cannot go back to what they once were.

In We Were Soldiers the telegram comes explaining that her husband has died, and she can't go back.
Lord of the Rings. Frodo gets the ring, there's no going back.

Most of us don't have husbands off to war (if any of you reading this do, I think you're incredible) and only a few of us will inherit a magical, possessed ring but there are always moments where there is no going back. Not in a scary way, necessarily (anyone else have The Point of No Return from Phantom of the Opera running through their head right now?) but in an exciting way.

I chose to come to BYU and my life is permanently altered.
If you walk up and introduce yourself to someone, your life is altered. There is no pretending like you don't know who that person is.
You open a can of olives and it spills all over you, there's no not opening that can once it's done.

We learn things and interact with people everyday.
There is no remaining neutral or stagnant.

And as much as we may want things to be how they once were. You can never go back to how things were, exactly.

Which I think is good motivation for moving forward proactively.

Sep 19, 2009

by the way,

I think Say How You Feel Day was pretty much a success...


I like cuddling...

And as a result I often sleep with a stuffed animal in my arms

this morning i opened my eyes to this image...

and yelled in surprise.

so my first thought this morning was, "killer badger!!"

Sep 18, 2009

Just Say It

Today (the 18th) is
Tell People How You Feel Day

So go ahead...Tell people how you really feel.

(and if you feel like sharing, let me know how it goes!)

Sep 16, 2009

for some reason i love chekhov and always will

"Plans indeed! . . . It is not plans that matter, but a human life."

Sep 12, 2009

we all have one main motive in life.
i just want to be beloved.

and maybe remembered as a hero.

Sep 11, 2009

i have a curse that i always go to the wrong car if someone else is driving.
without fail i cannot remember what people's cars look like.
no matter how many times i've ridden in it.

jennie's car is easy
anyone can get a ride
(her words)

I'm going to put a playlist -->
for some reason it's mostly calm-ish stuff at the moment.

it's simple really

Here is how you wakeboard if you're lauren laws...

1. Choose a lifejacket that is too big
2. Struggle to get your feet in the bindings

3. get into the water
4. hold on to the rope
5. get pulled up
6. face plant
7. struggle to flip back over again
8. be mocked for your inabilities
9. fail to get up all the way a few more times
10. eventual success, to the sound of cheering from fans
11. struggle to get out of the bindings
12. cut your foot on the boat's propeller on the way back in

The real key here is to face plant every single time you wipe out.
the fact of the matter is...
my brain just can't think when you* smell that good.


Sep 8, 2009


jennie posted this.and, well, it's cool.
almost overly intense, but i really, really enjoyed this talk when he gave it.

You may think you don’t have talents, but that is a false assumption, for we all have talents and gifts, every one of us.5 The bounds of creativity extend far beyond the limits of a canvas or a sheet of paper and do not require a brush, a pen, or the keys of a piano. Creation means bringing into existence something that did not exist before—colorful gardens, harmonious homes, family memories, flowing laughter.

What you create doesn’t have to be perfect. So what if the eggs are greasy or the toast is burned? Don’t let fear of failure discourage you. Don’t let the voice of critics paralyze you—whether that voice comes from the outside or the inside.

If you still feel incapable of creating, start small. Try to see how many smiles you can create, write a letter of appreciation, learn a new skill, identify a space and beautify it.

-Dieter F. Uchtdorf

to do

i am so confused right now.
like i try and wrap my head around everything i'm supposed to do in the next couple of days
and it's hard

.read for 105, 185, 114, D&C and write responses of some sort for all of these
.come up with 7 documentary ideas and explain them in a way Ben can understand
.cinematography (the word alone blows my mind)
.figure out what relationships should be like with various people
.steal clothes from boys
.maneuver car carefully between random sticky-out metal frame and the SUV that parks on the line without injury (failed on this one)
.learn how to make sandwiches, soups, salads, and other things
.get dressed
.buy checks, hard drive, dv tapes, paper, groceries
.write missionaries
.stop having anxiety about things

trying to come up with doc ideas but...

the problem is
i can see beauty in anything.
and everything.

Sep 2, 2009


In the history of urls on this computer someone had typed in "thefacebook.com"
(for some reason it just took me three tries to spell computer correctly)

snippet from 114 reading that i enjoyed:
There is really nothing in the world that can be compared to red shoes!
-The Red Shoes
by Hans Christian Andersen

snippet from the day (so far) that i have enjoyed:
andy calling me to ask how the cash register works
instead of the other way around

snippet of wisdom from yesterday:
wintermelon flavor is not particularly melon-y (or wintry) tasting.

snippet of feelings i am feeling currently:
i think i might be in a serious relationship with my classes this semester.