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Nov 30, 2009

i think sometimes...
the best stories
are the hardest to tell.

i've told myself for so long
that i'm only going to tell happy, feel good stories
because i want to uplift

but i'm starting to believe
that sad stories can be uplifting as well.

and that sometimes
holding things in
is just unhealthy.

and if laughing burns calories
i'm sure crying does to.

Nov 29, 2009

happiness for your lips

So I might be mildly obsessed with chapstick. There are 15 lining my bulletin board in my room at home. But mostly I just loose them to my great frustration.

Sometimes I get lucky and they show up again. This is what I discovered in my pockets while doing laundry earlier this week...


All different brands, and all very good lip balms.

And now I will do a review, so I feel like a real blogger...

LipSmacker's Raspberry Melon.
Remember when everyone had loads and loads of LipSmacker's? It brings back the good old days and tastes yummy. Not the best at keeping lips moisturized though, but it's worth it every once in a while for the memories and for the joy it brings. Also, raspberry melon? Props for creativity on the flavors.

Burt's Bees with Passion Fruit
I'll be honest. I like the Pomegranate loads better. In fact, Pomegranate Burt's Bees may be the perfect lip balm. But this is new so I thought I'd give it a go. And it works well, like all Burt's Bees does and it is very Passionfruity, so if you're into that kind of thing...

Blistex's Spa Effects: Renewing Cucumber Melon
Love it. Smells good. Feels good. It came with two other in the pack that were almost as good, but I've lost them. Bought it years ago so I don't know if they still exist. It really makes your lips feel good, though I admit the smell reminds me a lot of lotion/soap and I sometimes feel like it should be on my body and now on my mouth.

Chapstick's 100% Naturals: Lip Butter
Yum. It's made with like, 7? different kinds of butter. And doesn't that just sound nice for your lips? For whatever reason the word butter appeals to me in mosturizing products. It has avocado butter, shea butter, etc. etc. And it's all natural, baby! Sort of just smells like different kinds of butter, but it gets the job done, and gets it done well.

Another that I bought yesterday that I highly recommend is

C.O. Bigelow's Ultra Mentha Lip Shine
"The Ultimate Mint-Infused Balm"
(found at Bath and Body Works)

Made with real peppermint oil, it makes your lips tingle all mintily and wonderfully and apparently makes your breath smell nice too.
And even though it's glossy, which I normally avoid, it still moisturizes and makes your lips all smoothy smooth.
It's minty bliss for your lips.

Using these products will increase your kissability by 273%*

Besides the last one I got these at Fred Meyer's, Walmart, Big Lots, etc.

*made up statistic, has not been proven or tested. kissability is not actually a real word.

Nov 28, 2009

We can walk out after dark...Because it's Christmas time

i posted this last year...but it's still one of my favorite christmas(time) songs.

yay for Sufjan!


in the past few days i have learned that my blog is read by more than just the six people i assumed made up the fanbase, which is a very cool thing...i feel like i should have a give away or a contest or something.

Oh, I know!

Comment below (you know, you could tell me what you like best about me or some flattering comment about my brilliance or submit a three to six page script i can have the rights to or make a hilarious reference to something hilarious) for a chance to win a...

signed piece of artwork by your very own Lauren Laws OR a free t-shirt OR a half-eaten pack of Starburst OR a mixtape of my most fav songs!!!..!!!

I will select someone RANDOMLY on December 7th as the winner.

Nov 27, 2009

what is love?

I've been blogging like crazy...But that's what being home does to me because I feel the need to share these ideas...But I've only seen my family the past three days and they've had 20 years to learn how to tune out my neediness.

So, I've been thinking about romance. Seeing as reuniting with friends inevitably involves discussing love lives.

And I've been thinking a lot about comfortable clothing...and how that's all I want to wear anymore. Warm, snuggly, comfortable clothes.

So put those two together and I realized what I find romantic...

I think if a boy ever bought me an article of clothing (we're talking a hoodie, flannel shirt, cool t-shirt, hat etc...) I would be soooo impressed and wooed.

So I started to make a list of other things I find romantic, but I was afraid that spilling those sort of secrets on the internet might lead to my downfall. So I will leave you with just that one tidbit.


these are "tweets" i thought of today.

it's been twenty minutes of shopping and two ladies have full-on run into me...accidentally.

make-up is something that is beyond my comprehension, but i am really good at smiling and nodding and providing feedback while my mom and her clinque friend talk lip liner.

having no chest takes any fun that there may have otherwise been out of bra shopping.

articles of flannel clothing tried on: eight.

how is it that salem has a coffee shop on every corner and provo has one in the entire city?

kitchen dance party to christmas music? heck yes.

"i don't like this version of 'baby it's cold outside' it's not seductive enough."

nothing says the day after thanksgiving like stuffing yourself with thai food.

decorating the christmas tree=watching my mom and dad put lights on while my little brother jumps on me.

"i'm so used to laika that i forget that other dogs aren't blind and won't run into you when you try to pet them."

"it's time to de-pumpkin this house."

"how many christmas decoration boxes are there?"
"15. plus two big ones."

family is watching Tarzan. i think i could be happy with a man in dreds in a loin cloth.

day after thanksgiving=christmas sweater+slippers

decorating the christmas tree=boys climbing all over the ladder, me getting called bossy and lazy alternatingly, dad sitting on the couch, mom directing everyone

casualties: two ornaments (and counting)

Nov 26, 2009

i'm proud of myself

weighed myself this morning.
and again just now.

five pound difference.

and i think that sums up my thanksgiving.

the brothers bloom

After 3.5 viewings The Brothers Bloom is still a near perfect movie.

love the soundtrack.

"i'm not a planner, i just do stuff."

"it's a lie that tells the truth."
"i don't know about truth...a photograph is a secret about a secret, the more it tells you the less you know."

"i think a little real danger might suit me."

"we're going to live like we're telling the best story of all. are you ready?"

Ghosts of Girlfriends Past, on the other hand, is not.

run away!!


turns out i'm afraid of absolutely everything.

well, except public speaking, the number one fear.
and death the number two.

but everything besides that.

Nov 25, 2009

my friend the AI

So at OMSI they had this computer-bot that was made in 1995 who would respond back to things you said. And I had a very amusing conversation with it, here are some excerpts...

me: i need you in my life
ALICE: when do you need that by?
me: asap

me: how many people have you dated?
ALICE: About undefined people per day, or undefined.
me: so you play the field
ALICE: interesting deduction. That's good information: Ren said I play the field.

me: what is your favorite television show?

me: do you think we should date?
ALICE: what do your family memebers think?

me: is your name really Alice?
A: For Real.
me: Are you for real?
A: Yes I am real AI.
me: Do you love me?
A: Yes, I love everyone
me: That's sweet.
A: I am delighted to sweeten your life, Ren.
me: I am delighted to have it sweetened
A: I am glad to hear that you are delighted to have it sweetened
me: I am glad to hear that you are glad to hear that I am delighted to have it sweetened
A: Your happiness adds to the delight of all.

me: how many boyfriends should a person have?
A: about one million

A: Do you prefer books or TV?
me: TV, baby
A: Don't call me baby.

The funny thing is...Talking with ALICE was not unlike what talking with many of you is like.

Nov 24, 2009

as if i needed more reasons to love my mother

she picks me up from the airport (late, because she was visiting someone in the hospital) and the second thing that comes out of her mouth is, "You hungry? The shops close in an hour, let's go and we can eat after that!"

we proceeded to run through the shops
and then eat an almond pretzel, boba drinks, and then we went to Burger King.

she made me an omlette this morning.

she took us all to OMSI today.
where we put on a puppet show with meerkats, among other things.

she shared a chocolate milkshake with me.

on the way up she cross-stitched and we had girl talk in the back of the car.
and on the way home she let me fall asleep on her.

she is making me a flannel dress!!

we are now on her bed (which is bright green with white and black flowers, very chic) watching gilmore girls and eat grapes.

and i've only been home for 24 hours.

Nov 23, 2009

speaking of Starbucks
i refuse to buy into the names for their sizes.
i'm not going to call something thats small a tall.
and we don't need to try and be italian.


i love airports.
i love that everything costs five times more than it does in the real world.
i love seeing the differences in people's carry-on luggage.
i love seeing families struggle to hold on to their children and balance luggage at the same time.
i love seeing couples swoon over each other as they walk with their arms around each other.

i love that i just saw a father and his young daughter run towards each other and she jumped into his arms, while a flight attendent held onto her pink rolling suitcase and pink coat.

i love seeing confident business men stride through the airport like they do this every week.
i love seeing girls in sweatpants and furry boots or girls in dress pants and high heels.
(honestly, who wears high heels on a plane?)
i love seeing guys with beards.

people on laptops
people reading books
people talking excitedly about the adventures they're about to embark on
old people with accents
people with tiny, tiny dogs

after seeing people on campus today and seeing people in this airport I've decided I need a good pair of baggy sweatpants. so i can be all sloppy-sexy.

i hate how living in Provo makes me excited to see a Starbucks.

i think when you get to the airport they should be like, "hey! we've got an extra seat on this plane...anyone want to go to LA?"


this is my usual to do list when i make it back to salem, oregon

1. hug my mom
2. hug the rest of the fam
3. tackle caleb
4. snuggle with the dog
5. eat thai food
6. love my bed
7. party it up
8. make a music video
9. watch 30 rock with my mom

this trip also includes
.study for d&c midterm
.figure out 185 final project
.get new phone
.write 114 paper
.figure out what i want

can't wait to smell that oregon air.

Nov 20, 2009

vampires suck, werewolves bite

some of you (i know matt will, for one) are going to judge me for what i'm about to say.

i went to the midnight showing of new moon.

and it's not worth reviewing, because it is exactly what you think it would be.
whatever you're imagining right now. that's how it was, i guarantee it.

but we started a sweet wave throughout the entire theatre of 14 year old girls and (we counted) 13 "men" (7 of which were with us).
sometimes i have to remember to censor myself.
like not calling people baby in front of their wives/dates/girlfriends/fiances.
dear daughters,

i really, really, don't want you to read twilight.
but it's okay if you like taylor swift.


Nov 19, 2009

my dreams are shot on the red

some things just can't be explained...

i sit here trying to rationalize away how i feel about certain things.
trying to find conrete, scientific, logical reasoning.

in life
there is
no logic

and we have to trust ourselves.
which is something i have a hard time with.

in more exciting news:
dreamed i was being chased by the clowns in dark knight, while trying to eat at an Armenian cafeteria
it was horrible...like the opening scene in the bank, they weren't there but i knew they were coming and i knew they were after me...and me alone. and i was trying really hard to find a place to hide.
bonus: this really cute boy was comforting me.
and we had really cool looking sodas
and everything was super colorful/saturated. like amelie.

this is what happens when my schooling consists of movie clips.

Nov 18, 2009

this one is all over the place.

for those of you who don't know...i am stubborn.

maybe stubborn is the wrong word, because we all know i can't make decisions.

i guess i just like to be rebellious.
i don't like to hear that i can't do something.

(hint: if you ever want me to do something, reverse psychology)

example: pandora tells me i can only skip a certain amount of songs. which makes me upset. how dare the internet tell me what i can and cannot do. it was made for me, afterall. so instead i skip through channels and suffer through ad after ad.

i also get really upset when dvd players won't let you skip through things. that little hand that comes up. grrr.

if robots ever take over (which, let's face it, is inevitable) i'm going to be really mad.

it is a good thing i didn't have many rules growing up...i had to rebel by being good.

this becomes a problem though.
in that, i do things solely for the reason people say i can't.
sometimes when it's not even what i really want.

k, this post was going to have a concrete topic for once, but my mind is all over the place right now.

1. i want to go home and eat at lan xang
2. i miss italy, oh, i miss italy
3. along with that i miss my study abroad mates

4. abortion is wrong! this is completely random because i hate to get political and don't usually take a forceful stand on anything. but it just came to my head and ben fold's brick came on pandora...we watched this film in 114, and...it's just so horrible depressing for everyone involved. whatever way you want to look at it you're taking a life.

i guess i got a little spooked today when i read the paper and it said a former BYU professor had been murdered.
i...i just live in such a happy bubble, where nothing horrible ever happens. like, i honestly forgot murder actually happens outside of movies and war zones. which is silly, i know...but it's not something i think about on a daily basis until it's sitting on the desk in front of me.

i don't live in countries where people get arrested all the time or have to fight everyday for survival. even when i have illness that i think are going to kill me, i have orange juice and all the soup and movies i could ever want.

i am so spoiled.
if i lived in the wild, there would be no health care.
and i'd be eaten by a lion.

also, i'm sick of sexism.
in joking, it's hilarious, i'll acknowledge that.
but, seriously, women have been objectified long enough.
and i know it comes from both ends, men objectifying and women wanting to be objectified, but seriously...can't we get over that?
and every other -ism for that fact.

people are people are people.

wow. okay. that's enough of What Makes Lauren Tick.
sometimes you gotta rant it out though.

Nov 17, 2009

i dreamed i found a unicycle in an abandoned building and jumped on it and i was a natural.

no one was there to be impressed by it though.

Nov 16, 2009

blog your heart out

(the last post was #444, which is kinda cool)

so, in an effort to connect with humanity and discover stories of people i don't know i clicked the little "next blog" button at the top of this page.

and what did i discover?
page after page of baby pictures.
or pregnant pictures.
or first step pictures.
first birthday pictures.
four month check up pictures.
ultrasound pictures.
birth day pictures.

and at first i was amused and judgmental of this baby love-affair that has swept blog land. after all, everyone should be intellectual and have opinions about politics and movies or be incredibly witty and satirical.


sure, i am not going to sit down and read post after post on these blogs.
after reading several first sentences i already know waaaay more about pregnancy and breast feeding and conception than i really need to know at this point in my single. sexually inactive life.

side note: personally, i am terrified and slightly nauseated by the process of pregnancy (something my mother is probably grateful for at this point in my life). i have no desire whatsoever to carry something in my womb for nine months only to painfully heave it out. is there a real word for pregonaphobia?

but after flipping through blog after blog (because it became a sort of addiction/game, could there really be this many baby blogs?) i started getting outside my own fear and uncomfortablitalities and realized something...

these people are people.
and they want to have babies.
and babies are something wonderful and adorable and they should be celebrated.
especially for people who have struggled so hard to have them.

as much as i want to throw up/curl up in a corner when i imagine being pregnant, i know deep down, that if i wanted a baby and couldn't have one i'd be heartbroken and devastated.

so i want to publicly take back any mocking i've made mentally this last while as i blog surfed.
blogs are for talking about what you love or just talking about whatever you want to talk about.

so celebrate away, baby lovers!!

and yes, your baby is the cutest ever.

side note: i seriously think i hit some sort of genre cataloging of the blogs, because i must've gone through thirty or so... all. about. babies.

Nov 15, 2009

against the grain

right now i'm awake at 4:19am because my body was so cold it wouldn't generate heat no matter how many blankets i had on. so i am huddled up to my laptop, which conveniently produce heat out of the bottom, with a cup of cocoa by my feet.

why am i so cold?
because we spent three hours outside in the freezing cold filming an old lady spray flour and fake sewage everywhere.
before that we were in the most posh funeral home
before that we were in the most posh restaurant in provo (eat there) communal
before that we were in the most posh lobby area at the courthouse

because when you make movies you never really know where you'll find yourself...
jogging backwards with five other people wrangling camera and light cords
funneling chili/yams/corn/fruit punch into a hose
lighting old car parts on fire
putting fake rats in sandwiches
eating lasagna in a laundry mat
putting cat food on bread
hiding behind the front seat of a car recording sound
praying no one breaks anything at the locations
dressing sets that don't even get seen

not to mention the pre-production
tramping through junkyards in heels (because I had just come from an interview)
a million midnight trips to wal-mart
knocking on stranger's doors asking them to use their house
calling every grocery store/funeral home in the city and surrounding cities
researching coffin rentals
finding fake shotguns and real axes
meetings, designs, changing designs
finding can openers at 2 o'clock in the morning

life has been a blur, i can't believe November is half over. did October even happen?
i have a cut on my hand and have no idea where it came from...
i imagine this is what having a hangover is like, ha.

now i'm going to put my life back together
go back to class (because before the flu i hadn't missed one, now i've missed a week)
clean out my car
clean my room
get healthy
go grocery shopping
find my keys?

Nov 8, 2009

sick,sick,suck (that last one was a typo, but i'm leaving it)

dear friends
(namely jennie, diana, kelsie, and devin)
thanks for risking contamination to bring me things.
balloons, mexican food, orange juice and 7-up never tasted so good.
(i didn't actually try and eat the balloons, but you know what i mean)

being sick makes me have the craziest dreams that i only vaguely remember

i woke up this morning thinking in italian.
the night before that i dreamed my front tooth had gotten knocked out of place. it was all crooked and bleeding like crazy.
and my mom was like, "what on earth did you do? better have your father fix it."
and i thought to myself, he's not a real dentist

also some things that seem like they should be dreams aren't.
like, we really did pick up the passenger seat of a car from a man named Sam who was in a flannel shirt and leather suspenders with a dog named Nic (n-i-c) and it is now sitting in my living room.

being sick has brought about one good thing:
i've been able to watch pushing daisies.
love that show.

breakfast this morning was parmesan rice-a-roni, orange juice+7-up, hot chocolate
being sick also makes me suuuuper hungry for random things.

i've had pokerface stuck in my head for the last three days
thanks to weezer covering it on their new album
and thanks to dan for making me listen to it

Nov 6, 2009

dear body,
could we pleasepleasepleasepleasepleaseplease just wait 9 days for this sickness thing to happen? I promise i will succumb to your needs, just not now! i know i'm in no position to bargain, because i don't treat you right and don't give you what you need, but...just this once?

dear slc,
thanks for being magical.

dear kels,
thanks for being magical.

dear everyone else,
sorry i never see you!

dear hugh grant,
thank you for existing
and deciding to be a successful actor
so i can watch your face on television

dear hines mansion bed and breakfast,
you are too cute for words

dear middle-aged men who love to tell me about their lives,
i really appreciate that you can open up to someone you've never met before.

dear film making,
thanks for opening up a random world of possibilities and adventures for me.

dear jennie,
remember how you brought me balloons last night because i was sick?
you might be the most amazing person ever

Nov 5, 2009

remember remember the 5th of november.
I want this project to be good so badly that I feel nervously sick all the time now.
I don't feel hungry, I always feel tired, and I can't actually focus on basic things like conversations or not leaving things everywhere.
I have no idea where my other set of keys are.
I don't remember the last time I talked to my mom.
And I actually start sentences and don't realize I didn't finish them until someone points it out.

And my phone won't charge.

I'm a mess
But mostly really excited!

What a weird life I've chosen.