what is love?

January is coming to a close which means our next big holiday is perhaps one of the most controversial. Valentine's Day. We're all aware it's approaching. You can tell when you turn down that one aisle in the grocery store and are suddenly bombarded with red, pink, and chocolate.

Now, I can't pretend to be a huge fan of Valentine's day, it's never done much for me in the past. My mum loves to joke how anytime I started dating someone in high school it was always around two weeks after Valentine's day, leaving February 14th as this sort of awkward "where are we in this relationship" stage. Last Valentine's Day consisted of everyone in the apartment but me and E. with a bouquet of roses, though I avoided most of it by going to Mexico and making Valentine's with kids at an orphanage there, which really was quite enjoyable. Valentine's day before that consisted of Ju sprawled on the couch moping about the lack of romance in her life while Ang and I made cookies. Again, these were not unenjoyable times. Because contrary to popular belief, love is more than boy+girl+roses,kissing,chocolate = heart.

I find it interesting that we have dedicated a day to love. It makes sense, though, because deep down, all anybody wants is love. It's also something no one seems to be able to quite pinpoint. For the next two weeks I will be exploring different kinds of love on this here blog. Quotes/songs/pictures/movies/experiences etc. Because...It's interesting.

"i probably think about love more than the average person." -J Mag

"i like love, i think it is a fascinating emotion." -T Morrill


I once looked it up in the dictionary and I believe there were something like 12 different definitions. Wait, just looked it up, there are 21.

–noun

1.	a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.

2.	a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend.

3.	sexual passion or desire.

4.	a person toward whom love is felt; beloved person; sweetheart.

5.	(used in direct address as a term of endearment, affection, or the like): Would you like to see a movie, love?

6.	a love affair; an intensely amorous incident; amour.

7.	sexual intercourse; copulation.

8.	(initial capital letter) a personification of sexual affection, as Eros or Cupid.

9.	affectionate concern for the well-being of others: the love of one's neighbor.

10.	strong predilection, enthusiasm, or liking for anything: her love of books.

11.	the object or thing so liked: The theater was her great love.

12.	the benevolent affection of God for His creatures, or the reverent affection due from them to God.

13.	Chiefly Tennis. a score of zero; nothing.

14.	a word formerly used in communications to represent the letter L.

–verb (used with object)

15.	to have love or affection for: All her pupils love her.

16.	to have a profoundly tender, passionate affection for (another person).

17.	to have a strong liking for; take great pleasure in: to love music.

18.	to need or require; benefit greatly from: Plants love sunlight.

19.	to embrace and kiss (someone), as a lover.

20.	to have sexual intercourse with.

–verb (used without object)

21.	to have love or affection for another person; be in love.

No wonder it serves as an almost constant confusion for most of the population.

2012 and arguing.

I cannot even begin to tell you what I disliked about the plot of 2012.

All I'll say is at least a dozen times I slammed my head against DJB's shoulder and made the "ughhhh" noise.

The highlight was the first time that guy eat a pickle and it spews everywhere.

At one point I really thought I was going to cry...But then didn't of course. Because the only feelings I have are joy and frustration.

Speaking of frustration. I want to fight someone. I know this is ridiculous.

But the more I think about it the more I realize I'm lacking in opposing forces.
I love arguing. I know it's not Christ-like and I should get over it, but I just kind of love it.

E. and I once got into a ten-minute verbal brawl because she left the milk out.
I remember arguing with Mr. Woods in front of my entire IB English class because he said adverbs were becoming obsolete.

The thing is, I don't have to be right. Sometimes/usually I pick things to argue about arbitrarily, whether it's important to me or not, just because I want to get some sort of reaction out of people and to see how well they'll fight back.

As I am thinking about this now, I am realizing I really should change my attitude. I should stop calling everyone the worst, I should stop arguing with my teachers (who are inevitably smarter than me...most of the time), I should stop challenging people all the time, I should stop being overly competitive about things that don't matter and gloating like crazy when I win.

I'm a bad person, mostly.

But I think being opinionated and defending opinions is somewhat healthy.
I should just join a debate team.
Or a boxing club.

I've felt so unsettled lately. I'm either falling asleep in the middle of things or wanting to tackle people as they walk by. There is no healthy balance here.

I would just like to announce to the world how happy I am for these two...

I remember when we were all stealing dirt from the duck pond to plant flowers in
and now look how far we've come* (well, these two at least).

sigh.
oh, love.

*ironic: i was obsessed with that matchbox twenty song when they first started dating.

i never get homesick.

but lately i am craving physical affection so much.
i just want to drive home and cuddle with mum and dad and laika.

pretty much sums up my current philosophy

and it's catchy.

sleeping in my head

Lately I've been sleeping in a lot.
I don't have classes on tues, thurs, friday, and my wednesday morning class got cancelled.
The thing is, except one night when I stayed up writing, I've been going to bed early too.

So I feel lazier than all get-out. BUT I've been having amazing, crazy dreams every night.

I dreamed that we had this huge bag of skittles and they decided to add watermelon flavor and when I looked at the bottom of the bag (I didn't eat any, because even in my dream I was sugar-fasting) it said, "Our new flavor is thanks to the arduous comment from Ren Laws" And there was a flashback and I remembered writing to the company and telling them that there should be watermelon flavored skittles. And then I showed my dad the bag and he was impressed.

I dreamed I was in a hardware store and for whatever reason I was running around with a can of whipped cream. And I was eating it, but this person was trying to chase me down, so I was also using it as a means for holding them off, spraying it on the floor in very Home Alone like tactics. Then I finally come back and my dad was in line buying party supplies...at a hardware store.

I dreamed I was on this ranch or something. And this guy and I sort of hit it off we kissed a couple times and were walking through this field together. Only then he moved his ring from his middle finger to his ring finger and I was like, "Le gasp! You are married!?!" It was actually someone I know in real life but have never really talked to, which is always awkward city when you wake up and are like, "Why exactly was I dreaming about that person?" Back to the dream, he actually wasn't married, just pretending to be...But I dumped him anyway. I think there were horses around too.

I dreamed I had woken up and not brushed my teeth yet so I had horrible breath and I was talking to someone and trying to convince them not to inhale with their nose.

That was all just last night. Previous nights:

I dreamed that we found the most magnificent house to live in. It was all wooden inside with turquoise and red decorations and about a dozen clocks crowded on the mantelpiece. It was like the house in Matilda but even more fantastic. It is interesting too, because whenever I dream I usually only notice around three colors. So this was very red, turquoise, and wood-brown. There was a huge yard with little bird hoping around. It was just magical.

I also dreamed we moved into a beach house.


In short, sometimes sleeping is actually more exciting than being awake.

once upon a time we found this somewhere online.

{via found}

Another blast from the past, via E's blog, where I am left wondering how my brain works the way it does:

Aside from the fact that Ren's been talking in a quasi-Irish/New York accent for the last hour, and this post, and the completely magical moment where we pinky-promised at the exact same time (that's a jinx I just don't know how to deal with), I really love her most for this:

E: "I'm supposed to be reading Dickens right now."

R: "Oh, what one?"

E: "Hard Times. All of it."

R: "Right. So basically it's like the something-hundreds and everyone's going through hard times because life is hard, you know. But they all have their hard times separately, but intertwined, like a net together. And some of them persevere but some of them just give up, probably. And there's probably someone named Clive, or Tiny Tim. Hard Times applies every time you're having hard times, which is a lot times. Today I had hard times. Yesterday I had hard times. Tomorrow I'll have hard times. So the moral of the story is, when you have hard times, it's important to read Dickens' book called Hard Times because it makes us realise that at least we aren't wearing funny clothes or eating hard bread and also it's important to know that it's called hard times for these times, and it aims to highlight the social and economic pressures that some people were experiencing, unlike some other novels of the time. It's unique because it's not set in London. He's also satiring, so you know that's going to be good. Especially since the first book is called Sowing. Which is symbolic, because you know, The Sow and the Wing. And you reap what you sow. And it's important to sow good works or else you'll have hard times."

(pause)

R: "I've never read it."


Oh, E, you always brought out the best in me.



Alyssa Quotes of the Day:
You don't spoon on the couch with your guy friends!

Me: Relationships are hard.
A: They're a necessary evil.

such is life

Life is the most incredible thing.

Things always happen exactly how they should. Even if I don't understand it, or it's painful at first.

This is why I have a religious perspective.

There is no way things would work out like this without some higher source. We have a Heavenly Father who loves us and who will guide our every step if we let him.

I can appreciate every difficult thing that has ever happened in my life.
And I feel blessed for every person that has ever crossed by path because I have learned something valuable from each and every one of them. Not to mention the enormous love I've felt, even from people who I don't feel owe it to me.

It's just...sort of incredible is all.

soundtrack to my life

This song really "speaks to me" as they say.

this one is about me.

I've been wondering for some time what it is about me that seems to naturally draw people in.
The film program is a kind of place where you figure out rather quickly if you're liked or not. Or at least if you're liked. And I keep getting these people telling me, "I've heard you're great to work with." Weird thing is...they never say who told them, so maybe it's just some nebulous force. Or maybe I'm really good at brainwash.

Point is, I think I figured it out.

People are attracted me because I'm so strange.
And people like solving mysteries.

Today (and several times in the past) various people have looked at me after some strange comment/action and asked (rhetorically, I assume) "Who are you??" which is a figure of speech that means, "I don't understand why you are the way that you are."

Don't try and ask me. I don't know why I wear mismatched...everything. Or why I get emotionally attached to inanimate objects or why I am competitive about things that don't even matter. Not to mention all the things I don't even realize are weird until people point them out.

Like, "Why are you stretching weirdly while you're talking to me?" or "Why do you always stand in doorways like you're trying to seduce people?" or "What makes you think Pineapple on Alfredo pizza is a good idea?" or "Why do you spend over 12 hours a day making movies that are under ten minutes?"

So pretty much, I'm like a good television show, I leave people wondering what'll happen next.
(like Lost...or a soap opera)

Also, I've got to be a better student. I'm not talking about grades though.
You know it's bad when I raise my hand in class the professor asks, "Is this a real answer?"
He also asked twice if I was making fun of him, but really I was hiding behind things so he wouldn't notice I was drinking a jamba juice in a "no food and drink" zone.
But, like my sidekick Steve tried to tell me ahead of time, it really just drew more attention to myself.
And I've been threatened a few times now to be moved away from everyone/put in time-out.
Then I try really hard not to be distracting and say everything on my mind and I get, "Why are you making that face?"

Basically I think I belong in a forest instead of in a classroom.

And that's why they call me Wildheart.

Also, I've been told several times now by a few close friends (independently of each other) that I won't get in a relationship until I find someone "who can tame" me. What is that supposed to mean?

Promise I'm somewhat civilized...Okay, even as I typed that it felt wrong.

Also, being on a film set three days straight has made me want to 1st AD my life and I keep wanting people to hurry up and be more efficient. Mostly when I'm sitting in a classroom.

I think I should take up boxing or something. I need an outlet.

Girl Type Rationalization:
"And l'm done dating crazy, you know. Done. -Unless it's meant to be, right?"
--Penelope (2006)


I'm going to patent the Snuggie4Two...That's right.
One Snuggie. Four Sleeves.


I love Indian Food!

happy > sad

things that made me sad today:
.when my hard drive wouldn't turn on.
.angela is leaving tomorrow.
.smelling like paint.
.my body's broken.
.slicing my finger.

things that made me happy today:
.when hard drive finally did turn on.
.my car radio fixed itself.
.dance parties with myself.
.the one class i went to was interesting and amusing.
.being in a class where we sit around a table and i can make faces at people.
.eating breakfast.
.painting.
.people giving me gum.
.the kelly sisters and their NY attitudes.
.affectionate nicknames.
.smelling like oranges.
etc.

cha-cha-cha-changes

College is such an interesting time of life. Nothing is consistent. I feel like every semester I have to readjust and shuffle the cards. People come and go.

Everything is so transient.

I'm pretty sure if I packed up and left for a few months few people would be concerned. I'm not saying I don't have friends who care about me, but it's just the nature of relationships at this stage in our life. I cannot allow myself to get attached to people who will inevitably gone in the next few years or even months.

This is coming off cynical. I love people and love them almost instantly upon meeting them. But I am also learning how to let people come and go. One night you may be staying up all night chatting and cuddling (platonically) and the next day (for whatever reason) you're just facebook acquaintances.

At the same time it's highly exciting. There is nothing tying me down right now. I could make a million different decisions as to what to do with my life or even just my day.

I'm in between. I've left home and struck out on my own and have not yet found anyone to "settle down with." So there is no settling to be had. I do what I want.

Photos Round 2 - Places

Jan. 10 - living room etc.

Jan. 11 -the pretty building on campus

Jan. 12 - lots of blankets = hard to wake up in the morning

Jan. 13 - Clock

Jan. 14 - Ju lives somewhere scary

[Jan 15 - cannot be post due to confidentiality issues]

Jan. 16 - candy + movie

mmmm.

i am starting to feel as though the key to life is not over thinking things.
you gotta follow your instincts, babies.

they need to invent some sort of spray to ward off obnoxious people, nothing harmful, just a repellent of sort. it'd be handy at social gatherings when blondy-blond girl get in the way or that one guy asks you a million times if you have a boyfriend (probably should've just lied and said i do). it'd have to be a smell only people with bad taste don't like...like apples or pine trees.

i super organized m'half o'the room t'day.
how fun are '? i feel so v'ry irish righ' now.
it's all cleany clean and i just need more hangers
i should probably stop saying phrases that involve saying the same word twice but adding a -y to it the first time...they just keep slippy slipping out.
found a couple rings, a couple chapsticks, some shirts i've been looking for...it was like a treasure hunt.

want to live in a house.

can't believe my baby-lindsey-girl just got engaged!
we grew up together and now she's all grown up (and saving China).
congrats to her and her very lucky fiance.

i'm so exhausted...it's like my body is made of mush.

i spent all day working on a spaceship-ish set and had lunch at a pirate themed restaurant with scantily clad waitress. then watched a dvd i bought on amazon that was an illegal copy that was not meant for sale as it kindly reminded us every few minutes and also went to black and white every once and a while for three scenes at a time.
what is my life?

bad idea: spinach alfredo pizza with cinnamon pineapple.

i've got to start eating healthier...i feel like i'm going to die from wendy's/donut/pizza overdose.

i've become boring and responsible. if you can call building a spaceship and planning film festivals trying to go to bed before 2am boring and responsible.

yes!

dear body,
i think you have forgotten we are on the same side.
stop trying to kill me\us

i keep having dreams that i get called into the principal office, but i always wake up before i actually go.

also, had a nightmare that heightened my fear of public restrooms.

the three day weekend will be much needed to say the least.

it's called education.

today my classes did not feel like real classes.
also, i don't know the real names for most of them, which is kind of excellent.

i got to attempt to do makeup in makeup.
end result: matt had hand sanitizer on his jacket, powder in his eyes and a ghost face (well, half a ghost face...with tiny red dots around his beard). also, at one point there was hot cheeto looking smudges all over his chin/face. it...well, let's just say i'm learning.

we talked about stuff in my teaching class and came up with brill ideas for teaching methods that involved things such as coming in dressed as a cowboy and trying to rig up spotlights in the classroom (the latter being fairly complicated for an hour long class)

tried to rip dvds and failed, tried to open my locker and failed, not the greatest moments in my life.

In the tv class, I sat at the counter-thing and pretended to be a co-host while Steven talked to us from the ceiling like God and the teleprompter typed out insults. made hilarious jokes and discussed things rather unsuccessfully. Dan snuck in and was typing things on the teleprompter about me I knew no one in my class knew and I was highly confused for a while.

187 involved everyone pitching (aka telling stories) and it was delightful, some people had good ideas, some i spaced out during. My pitch changed twenty times in the thirty minutes before I had to pitch. Love, love that class, even though I go a little crazy when it's 8pm and I'm going on my fifth hour straight in classes.

Downside to the day was the major crampage going on in my muscles which i tried to conquer by stretching awkwardly whenever I was behind the rest of the class. Throwing my leg over desks in 187 or doing that "sexy" doorway pose when we were crammed the control room in 104, hoping no one was really paying attention. Which, inevitably people were. Tara saved my life with some painkillers. I think I owe her something grand.

I swear, I could be the next Drew Barrymore character. I am always doing awkward and semi-hilarious things that I am not aware of until someone points it out and says, "Lauren, what on Earth are you doing and why are you doing it?" Which I never have a response for. I wouldn't be surprised if I started killing people's plants and tried to go back to high school when I was 30 and also joined a rollerderby team. No, don't think I'm tough enough for that last one. Oh, and I can only write lyrics that rhyme...and I would so date the man in the yellow hat.

All my classes are fairly small and with people I know or have already become friends with and I am having so much trouble refraining from saying every stupid and/or brilliant comment that comes to mind. I think I'm attention needy since coming back from break where my family doted on me and wanted to pay attention to me because they only had to put up with me for two weeks.

Also, I have never had a nickname catch on so quickly. Jen has been calling me Laws for sometime now, but in the past two days that's almost all anyone has referred to me by including professors and acquaintances. Enjoyed getting back the feedback in 187 because one of them said, "Lawsy Baby" on the top. Feel free to refer to me as such.

The Holiday is one of those films that is amazing because it is like, "Hey, I've actually felt like that in my life..." And...I wouldn't mind if Jude Law smiled at me like that.

Spent over 12 hours on campus today. But what else is new. I'm getting so sick of meetings.

sour powder=no more tongue

Today was more productive than I can explain. I'm working like mad and the semester has just begun.

Also, I rented a locker and will be pretty much living in the HFAC. If you need me...2nd floor lab. Which I affectionately now call the labby lab. Or you can leave notes in locker 816, just like middle school. Or when there is a class in the labby lab, I'll be on the third floor. Also sometimes talking with Brad on the fourth floor. And my makeup class is on the first floor. So...I've got most bases covered...Because I also have a class and sometimes meetings on the fifth floor.

"Wolf calls are always romantic." -Cambell

I knew it was going to be a good day when I said I wish there was a shortcut and Kelsie pointed out where two boards had been removed and we slipped through them (we're so Sandlot).
Then it was blasts from the past because I visited 102 and 112 as an ambassador from the other side for the SFA.

Oh, watch this...

"Student Films Have Changed" - SFA Commercial from Phillip Goodwin on Vimeo.

I came up with the idea, Phil made it magic. Though, for the record, I suggested a different song.
I worked on...maybe five of the films featured.

Then a meeting and trying to write papers, Wyatt provided this when I asked for help writing a paper on what I would add to a class. “There is no such thing as set drama when Lauren is on set because everyone is happy and they just want to love...Especially if they are young single guys.”- Wyatt

Went to Jeff Parkin's aka boys who like video games class and it was great. And will probably be tons of work, but that's cool.

Alex made us dinner, hooray for Alex!

I ate too many sour patch kids and killed the top layer of my tongue.
Told myself I'd go to bed at midnight, yet, here I am...and it's 2am.

the verdict is in...

cool people wear plaid.

(but so do middle schoolers...it's a win-lose, like most things in life)

we can work it night by night.

thank you Matt* for reminding me once again that Chromeo is magic.



*this is me giving you the credit you deserve.

unrelated note: i shot myself in the hand (long story) with a staple gun (only it shot out little needles) and it just bounced off so i figured i had titanium skin...only it started bleeding a bit later...so i'm not actually metallic.

I can't help but look at my life like a movie sometimes.

Last night there'd've been a wide shot of me in the deserted grocery store trying to decide what yogurt to buy.
The couple behind me in the checkout line were talking about how their taking the next step in their relationship because they are buying a two-liter of soda together.
They ended up being parked straight across from me as we both got into our cars. It's easier to reuse extras.

My radio/cd player is currently broken and only turns on random, usually for only 30 seconds at a time, and always the song is pertinent to what I am thinking at the time. It's so Transformers.

Babetta had the most brilliant shadows behind her as she played the guitar. It looked so intentional.

Also, yesterday was the best day of my life because Jeff Parkin called me on my cellphone.

visuals

Jan. 8 - Jam Session

Jan. 7 - Cozy

Jan. 6 - School Supplies

Jan. 5 - Jen in love.

Jan. 4 - Writing a Song for Diana

Jan. 3 - Portland Airport

Jan. 2 - dance party while I packed.

Jan. 1 evening

Jan. 1 (aka 31st night)

unrelated topics

i love that the person i have become is shaped by the people i know/have known.
i was super awkward today, but it's like, it's okay, there are people in my life who are just as awkward as i am.

so maybe i whisper "i love lentil soup!" as we pass these two guys sitting against the wall holding a can of lentil soup. and the person i whispered it too didn't hear, but the two guys did and gave me a strange look and then burst out laughing.

i love talking when you don't realize no one's listening.
like people who can't listen and type/text at the same time.
or someone has headphones in and you don't realize it.
so you keep adding bits to what you're saying, just in case they are listening and just haven't responded. so you don't feel stupid.
but ultimately you can take comfort in the fact that no one is listening.
it's like a rehearsal for when you try and tell the story again.

i like how people talk a little too loud when they're wearing headphones.
i like the tiny crack in people's voice when they break a long silence.
i like when people put their hands over yours when they try and show you how to do something and it's awkward but easier than explaining.

187 was incredible today.
at some points it was like tom was reading my brain.
lecturing us on everything i've been feeling really passionate about lately.
how you need to live before you'll be good at filmmaking.
and how you need to get out and actually on film sets.
and that love stories are important even though they don't get as much credit as they used to.
and story is king.

makeup was fun because we got to put wigs on fake heads.
i stabbed mine in the head several times and should probably never be allowed to touch actors.

my tv class is fun too. because we are going to actually do/make stuff and steven is awesome.

lately, i really like brushing my teeth.

sigur ros+any footage=automatic epicness, it's almost not fair. Also, I recommend their doc, Heima.

oh and I am holding to my picture-a-day resolution. I'm going to post them weekly.

sadly, i don't play the accordian

today in my acting class we learned about ignoring the voices in our heads.

i've already almost called ang and diana twice each. and they haven't been gone long.

yesterday was most, most excellent
my makeup teacher cracks me up
i feel like she belongs in a fantasy story teaching potions to fairies and magical inclined children and living in a mystical tree eating apples all day.
my other class got canceled
went grocery shopping twice. with kels and alex then with willem and dan
went to quit my job, but they closed early
went back to quit my job later
willem took pictures from outside the window, because he's a creeper and slightly deranged.
going to miss the food.
not going to miss the 2.50 an hour.
we sent diana off with a gathering of some of the finest people i know, an OG (all orig) song, deep conversations, and singing God Be With You Til We Meet Again at a nearly deserted airport at 3am as she walked through the automatic doors.
got 4 hours of sleep.

...2010...

New Years Resolutions are pretty much always ignored. I know I didn't really do any I came up with last year.

Here are some anyway, we'll see if they stick.

Do Yoga.
Not just because it's trendy and the only equipment required is comfy pants but because I have a horrible, horrible back and cannot touch my toes and sometimes have horrible balance. I think I need it.

Just Jump.
Recently my mom told me that the first time you feel like you should do something is always the best time. Because other opportunities may come along, but they are never as good as that first moment you feel inspired to do something. You've gotta just jump when you feel like you should jump and trust your instincts otherwise golden opportunities will pass you by.

Yesterday I sat in a wannabe French cafe eating a crepe and talking with a friend who just got back from a study abroad in China. Now I wouldn't call him a perfect example of the kind of person I want to be (no offense, buddy) but he was talking about all these experiences he had just immersing himself in the streets and meeting people and going to clubs and networking. He ate food off the streets at 3am and was living it up.

Now, balance is important and all that nonsense. But I think sometimes it is too easy to forget to live it up. I know personally, as a creator, I need to/have to live and experience things in order to make effective and good art, but I also think it is just healthy for ones sanity. Sometimes you have to forget about bedtimes because the best conversations happen after midnight. Sometimes you have to take the long way home. Sometimes you have to drive twenty minutes to the next town just for the sake of leaving town. Sometimes you have to wear something outrageous and not care what other people think.

"We're gonna live like were telling the best story in the whole world. Are you ready?" -The Brothers Bloom

Take Time to be Still
With a busy lifestyle and always trying to pump each minute full of something it is easy to forget to take a moment to breath and rest. I need to not always be plugged into my computer (thank goodness I did not get that editing job). I need to turn off the music sometimes and just sit and listen and ponder and read and breath. Sometimes you have to lay on the floor and look at the ceiling, you never know what you'll find there. Or just walk home without your headphones in.

Get Organized
I never actually use binders or notebooks or syllabuses or things that would actually help me in school or with other projects. I should do that I think if I did I would be an all-A student again. And I really need to clean my room/car and get rid of junk.

Love and express love/gratitude/forgiveness.
I need to write more thank you notes. I need to give more hugs. I need to look people in the eye and tell them how much they mean to me. Because I've got so many people in my life I couldn't do without. I want to give up holding a grudge. It is never ever worth it. Along with this I need to be better about writing my missionary buddies and I need to call my mom more.

Let things go
If something happened in the past, there's no going back. Things don't work out. And I make mistakes, other people make mistakes. But what is done is done. You can't always get what you want but you might just find...you get what you need.

Notice Small Moments
I am resolving to take at least one photo a day this year. Because something magnificent happens everyday, it's just a matter of noticing them.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!