I've been wondering for some time what it is about me that seems to naturally draw people in.
The film program is a kind of place where you figure out rather quickly if you're liked or not. Or at least if you're liked. And I keep getting these people telling me, "I've heard you're great to work with." Weird thing is...they never say who told them, so maybe it's just some nebulous force. Or maybe I'm really good at brainwash.
Point is, I think I figured it out.
People are attracted me because I'm so strange.
And people like solving mysteries.
Today (and several times in the past) various people have looked at me after some strange comment/action and asked (rhetorically, I assume) "Who are you??" which is a figure of speech that means, "I don't understand why you are the way that you are."
Don't try and ask me. I don't know why I wear mismatched...everything. Or why I get emotionally attached to inanimate objects or why I am competitive about things that don't even matter. Not to mention all the things I don't even realize are weird until people point them out.
Like, "Why are you stretching weirdly while you're talking to me?" or "Why do you always stand in doorways like you're trying to seduce people?" or "What makes you think Pineapple on Alfredo pizza is a good idea?" or "Why do you spend over 12 hours a day making movies that are under ten minutes?"
So pretty much, I'm like a good television show, I leave people wondering what'll happen next.
(like Lost...or a soap opera)
Also, I've got to be a better student. I'm not talking about grades though.
You know it's bad when I raise my hand in class the professor asks, "Is this a real answer?"
He also asked twice if I was making fun of him, but really I was hiding behind things so he wouldn't notice I was drinking a jamba juice in a "no food and drink" zone.
But, like my sidekick Steve tried to tell me ahead of time, it really just drew more attention to myself.
And I've been threatened a few times now to be moved away from everyone/put in time-out.
Then I try really hard not to be distracting and say everything on my mind and I get, "Why are you making that face?"
Basically I think I belong in a forest instead of in a classroom.
And that's why they call me Wildheart.
Also, I've been told several times now by a few close friends (independently of each other) that I won't get in a relationship until I find someone "who can tame" me. What is that supposed to mean?
Promise I'm somewhat civilized...Okay, even as I typed that it felt wrong.
Also, being on a film set three days straight has made me want to 1st AD my life and I keep wanting people to hurry up and be more efficient. Mostly when I'm sitting in a classroom.
I think I should take up boxing or something. I need an outlet.