daily affairs

every day has its adventures. today was magic from the start...which was about 4am.

because, turns out when i work AND play real hard during the week i have NO energy for the weekend and fall asleep at 7pm on a friday night.

so, i arose at 4am, which was 9 hours of sleep, i thought maybe my body would go back to sleep so i watched some episodes of New Girl--you know, Zooey D. in all her glory. chit-chatted with a peep or two living on the other side of the pond and thought maybe i'd go back to sleep.

didn't happen.

but i was excited to finally tackle the bathroom that had great need of help in the cleanliness department.

that took about 15 minutes.

then i put on the smallest amount of clothes possible and went for a run before the rest of the world, including that darn sun woke up.

i am not a person who is in shape. 

i am a person who thinks running is boring.

but yesterday i said i would start tomorrow so i had to do it.

i started with a small amount and made it to the park where i did some jumping jacks and crunches and lunges and what-not before running around a little more and watching the sun slowly come up.

then i laid in the grass and read the scriptures on my phone.

spent some quality alone time with myself and God and nature.

it's not always easy to be alone in Provo, UT.

being alone was nice for a while then i really started wishing other people were awake.

and then i fell asleep for a couple hours as everyone else woke up.

went to the FARMER'S MARKET which ended up being the most MAGICAL thing ever.

i decided the only way to buy things is from actual people because after the farmer's market i drove to pleasant grove to buy a printer off craigslist, more on that later.

the lovely old man selling cherries. the crazy lady and her discount earrings. the beautiful girl from Kenya. the jeweler man that is my new BFF and I may not buy a ring from anyone else ever again. the poser boys who don't even know what foundation they are selling things for. the friendly people trying to start up their own Asian restaurant. the girls giving out flowers for free. the man who can engrave a ring made out of seeds in "uno minute". such a lovely community feel to the whole thing. we bought something from the lovely Kenya girl and she gave us bonus necklaces made out of newspaper (but you'd never guess). 

i use the word lovely a lot, but most of the time i can't think of a better word than that. it's such a good word. 

then we went and bought a pot for our flowers. i went on an adventure to get a printer for a craft project i am working on and drove to pleasant grove, where i went to find a place to break my 20 so i could buy the printer and all i could find was a closed general store. until...

...i noticed the strawberry festival. and bought a soft pretzel and nacho cheese, exactly what i needed after finally being active this morning...not.

buying things of craigslist is kind of exciting, you never know who is going to answer the door. who is it that no longer wants their printer/stroller/couch/tv. what's their story? we may never know.

i drove their and back to the sounds of high school aka New Amsterdam.

then...office movie night ended up being Speed Racer. was a more magnificent movie ever made?

and now, i am writing, which also makes me happy.

hooray for today! 

and why am i asleep on the couch at 2am...again.

#thiscyclewillneverbebroken.

oh, life...

if you had told me six years ago I'd be sitting in a restaurant in Provo, UT eating a giant hamburger discussing my life with the spokesperson for a tongue brush company I would've told you, "you crazy."

because six years ago i was a vegetarian that had no intention of going to BYU and no one had heard of an "Orabrush" 

and yet, finishing a day of work on a film set with a fine meal felt like one of the most natural things in the world. people talk about how when they're doing what they know and love it just makes sense. that's how i feel on a film set. it makes sense. i know what to do and i feel in control, despite the stress, chaos, and constant demands that are happening around me, i get it, and i know how it works and why it is important.

i am so excited to see where i am six years from now, because honestly i could be anywhere. the world is so full of possibilities and so much can happen in such a short amount of time.

average day

There are a few things in life I am the worst at. One of them is making and meeting goals. 

So much for writing every day. I got busy with work and school, the usual excuses.

Well, I am going to skip to 12. Describe a typical day in your current life.

An average day these days goes like this...Wake up. Hit snooze. Wake up again. Hate myself for hitting snooze because now I have no time to get ready. Rush to prepare myself. Grab a greek yogurt for the road. Get to Screenwriting at 9:03. Have a marvelous time learning the fundamentals of screenwriting with fabulous people.

11:00 go to work in the library. Sit at my desk. Eat yogurt. Make emails, talk to coworkers, discuss scripts, attempt budgets.

12:30 off to 291: Film History, try to not fall asleep, watch part of a movie, fall asleep despite efforts, wake up, sometimes eat Ritz crackers, if not go buy goldfish crackers for 50c at the vending machine during break, learn stuff about film history.

anywhere from 2:50-3:20 get out of 291. back to work. Do work stuff.

5:00-6:00 walk home. sometimes call mom. get home. try and get homework done. 

7:00-8:00 go to some event/meeting/class.

9:00 remember that i haven't eaten all day. get a call from someone wanting to hang out. 

11:00 convince myself i'm going to bed.

12:00 still awake, distracted by roommates or someone else. 

12:30 homework, writing.

1:00 maybe go to bed, but lately it's not until at least...

3:00 zzzZZZZzzzz.

But that's all changing because Spring Term is over as of today. NO MORE CLASSES!!! I'm the fool that failed my last final, but my first one went swimmingly. Can't win them all*.

*I don't actually believe that saying. 

Shaping the Future

I just read an article How to Talk to Little Girls that made the point that when you see a curly haired, brightly dressed, big eyed little girl the first thing you want to say is, "aren't you adorable??" or "You're so pretty!" Because it's true and it boosts the self esteem, right? This article says that this attitude, while well-intentioned may be a cause for girls thinking that the number one thing they need to be, above all else, is pretty.

It goes on to say how there are so many other things we could be talking about with our young female friends books and dreams and such.

Which reminded me of yesterday when I saw on another blog a baby clothing store with the desire to inspire children and also remind us that child are the future. Because "children are born to be more than princesses and superheroes." 

This is something that I've admitted to few people as sort of a complex of mine, I, like many a girl have been complimented on various aspects of my looks throughout my life--starting at a young age as I apparently learned to bat my eyelashes before I even left the hospital. I enjoy being pretty, don't get me wrong, and I enjoy those compliments, but I also know...that looks don't last so when it is generally the first compliment people give it is a little unnerving because I know someday those qualities will leave and then will people still have something to say about me?

Compliments are a tricky thing.
I, personally, am awful at them both in giving and accepting. I love and appreciate people so much but am never quite sure how to tell them, there is always awkwardness even when you are telling people something they want to hear. I am trying, however, to overcome that because I believe in telling people that they are good and point out specific things they do well.

When you tell people what they are doing well they will be more inspired to keep doing well. I've seen it in other people and felt it in myself. People need to be told they are worthwhile, because for some reason we always forget.

Equally important is telling people what they can be, we need to be reminded of our massive potential. Numerous times in my life people have told me I can do things or that I am great at things and I didn't believe them, because they were talking about things I had never done. But, guess what, we can do things we've never done before simply by doing them. It is a marvelous principle. We just need the encouragement.

I feel blessed always, for friends and family who have pushed and encouraged and complimented me through various projects and ideas and decisions. I love you all. I should also say "I love you" more.

5/30

5. What are the 5 things that make you the most happy right now?

Maybe I am in a bit of a funk, because on a normal Lauren Laws day there are five BILLION things that make me immensely happy. Puppies, sunshine, bright colors, shamelessly flirting with every person I come in contact with, soft things, things that smell good, anything turquoise or lime green, candy, slurpees, blankets, comfortable clothes, bright colored clothes, clear water, any interaction, big or small, with someone I know, eating pizza, writing, etc.

But lately I feel like I am in this weird place of trying to figure out my life and uncharacteristically moody about it. There are things that I want that aren't up to me and things that I can't decide that are 100% up to me. 

I'm about to go get froyo with my girls and I know that'll make me happy because they are lovely souls.

My new room makes me happy, it's such a lovely little space that is all mine...I've missed that. My things fit pretty perfectly in it...It just feels right. 

My job makes me happy. I go and I get paid and I like the people around me and I like the things that we are working on and it is a fun environment. I have a jar of peanut butter and Ritz crackers and some chocolate in my desk. I have my own desk...Unlike my last producing job. Everyone I work with is fun and lovely and so friendly. 

Being free makes me happy. That I am young, healthy and can come and go as I please. Knowing I don't have to worry about too much really. 

The song "Home" is making me pretty happy these days.

thirty things

just watch this

Hey, ho,
it's pretty darn funny, yo,
that we'd have taken our chances of gettin' cholera
to get a date with a British suitor, holler y'all!

There are some people around here who are super brilliant.
I just stood by the camera holding a tiny screen and tried not to get in the way for this one.

4/30

In doing these 30 things I can't help but wonder if anyone cares about random facts about me, but then I realize...We, humans in general, care about other humans. I know I do, I care about stories big and small. So we are going on with number 4...

4. List 10 things you would tell your 16 year-old self, if you could. 

Dear 16-year-old Lauren,

I would tell you not to date that other guy because he wasn't really all that good for you. Or not to keep falling for that one guy because he'll end up marrying your cousin anyway. But those experiences you'll have will shape you into the person you are today and you actually learned a lot from those people and they  I kind of like me and I like having those stories that give life flavor.

So what I will tell you is someday you're going to realize your mom knows what she's talking about and you should always be kind to her because she's the greatest thing that's ever happened to you. I'll tell you to watch more movies because you are going to be waaaaaay behind when you finally choose a major. I will tell you that if any boy asks you to go somewhere with him just do it without thinking so much--that sounds like REALLY bad advice, but gosh-dang you ruined SO many surprises just by being stubborn.

I would also tell you to not eat all that garlic the night before the winter formal, but that made a good story too.

Don't make mom make you a dress for that one assembly because it stressed her out hardcore.

Don't go running through parking lots with those heels without traction because who knows how much damage that concussion did.

Record your final for senior IB history "Hindi Heartland", because it was so brilliant and would be hilarious to watch later (right now).

Learn how to park better.

Keep better track of your sweatshirts.

Keep a better journal.

With love,
Lawsy (you get a lot of nicknames between 16 and 23)

3/30

3. Describe your relationship with your parents

I love my parents. I would be more than content to marry someone exactly like my dad. He treats my mom so well. The only times I remember him getting mad about something was in defense of my mom. He is the kind of dad that is hilarious and loving and demands respect in a gentle way. The kind of dad that would take his family to Saudi Arabia for two years just for the experience. I like watching movies with him and eating popcorn. He helped me build (and almost helped me patent) the "Bunk Swing" a double-decker swing we build in our backyard. He taught me how to fish and then hid the fish from me because I was scared of it. He lied to me about a rollercoaster so I would go on it, "Is this the huge scary one we saw from the parking lot?" "No." Halfway through the ride: "It IS the one from the parking lot!!!!" He always tells me that I can do anything. We don't always communicate a ton, but I know he's always there for me. 

My mom...is the most fantastic woman know. She instantly draws people in with her fun and loving personality. Every day I realize more and more that I am about 85% her and I am happy about that. She is artistic. She is kind. She magnifies every calling she has ever had at church. She is stylish, no one believes she is as old as she is (which is about 35). She knows how to endure hardships with a positive attitude. She has supported me in my decisions good or bad and has never tried (or at least tried very hard) to make me be anything I didn't want to be. She does tell me the ways I can improve, like a good mom should and even though sometimes it bugs me I still love her for it. She is the kind of mom that will dress up for a midnight showing of Hunger Games. She sent seemingly endless boxes of fruit snacks to Italy. She is my go-to girl to talk about my problems. She is the best and I'm not just saying that because all my friends love her too.

I'm currently craving:

Chocolate covered pretzels,
Acai berry tea,
or those chocolate covered Acai berries from Costco,
$1 chocolate milkshake from Del Taco,
Grilled cheese,
Vitamin water,
A donut,
Australian apple licorice,
Chicken nuggets,
Frozen yogurt,
Apple limeade,
A salad,
A really good sandwich,
A pear,
A calf massage,
Maybe some pasta in pink sauce,
A good cupcake.

Or like a chicken sandwich with cheese and apples and lettuce on it.

Is this normal flu induced behavior?
And does someone want to bring me all of those things?
And some bacon.
Just kidding, I don't like bacon.
Probably the only person on the planet who doesn't.
Maybe some jello.
Or an otter pop.

Ran out of Parks and Rec and now I'm watching Portlandia. It's not all that great but is sort of making me homesick.
"My flannel shirt still fits in, in Portland."

And now none of those things on the list sound good anymore. Dangit.

2/30

2. Describe 3 legitimate fears you have and explain how they became fears. 

I am afraid of getting my leg shut in a car door. I have no idea where it originally came from but I have been put into situations where I have had to face this fear more than you would think. One of the first student films I worked on, Inspector 42, I was asked to maneuver myself under the dashboard on the passengers seat of an old car, with my legs hanging out the side of the car, while it was pulled down a street. Often when I open a car door it tries to close again and it is just a scary thing for me.

I am afraid of dinosaurs, but also love them. I blame this on watching Jurassic Park at a young age and the nightmares that followed. I am still scared to watch that movie, but some of my favorite places are dinosaur museums. I just sometimes need someone to hold my hand to get through them. 

I am afraid of getting old or getting any kind of illness that would prevent me from taking care of myself. I'm afraid of having my body and/or mind falling apart. This developed because of how much I hate being sick, even right now, when I just have the flu I just hate my life so much because I can't accomplish the things I need/want to. Like getting my oil changed. Which I might go do anyway.

30 things and 20 things

My beautiful friend Alyssa came up with a list of 30 things, 30 writing prompts to write about and I decided, since it seems like the cool thing to do, that I would do it for the month of June, seeing as it starts today and there are 30 days, seemed like a good idea and a good deadline. Here's hoping I keep up, because I'm not going to cheat by editing the date on the post ;)

So, here comes number 1.
List 20 random facts about yourself.
.I really, really like curry. Indian, Thai, Korean, Japanese. If my stomach could handle it I would eat it every single day...maybe even every meal.
.I'm a film major who hasn't seen very many movies.
.If I lived somewhere cold I would wear flannel every day.
.I'm not afraid of spiders.
.I don't like dark sunglasses. On me or on other people.
.I did, however, find the perfect sunglasses that make everything look like golden hour.
.I'm about to be an aunt again!
.I like dressing up to go see movies. Even if it's not opening night.
.I like green candy and pink candy. Doesn't matter what kind of candy we are talking they're always the best flavors.
.Some people wish their life was a musical. I actively work to make mine one by singing and dancing in public and wearing bright colors as well as often finding myself in whimsical situations
.I've had a blog since 6th grade and have probably written 20 things about myself about 20 times by now.
.I love television shows. I love that feeling of falling in love with characters over a long period of time, week after week, instead of just a couple hours in a movie.
.I love loving.
.I was a vegetarian most of my growing-up years, except I always had this weakness for Wendy's chicken nuggets, my family called me a "selectetarian."
.I have no less than eight nicknames all in active use. Sometimes I don't know how to introduce myself.
.I wish I had a camera strapped to my forehead to capture all the brilliant moments in my life.
.I was born at 10:13am on the 23rd of the 5th month. 10+13=23. 2+3=5.  I wish the year fit into the equation.
.I oddly love having my calves massaged. Maybe more than any other part of my body. Like those chairs in the mall? *drool*
.I love good drinks. smoothies, apple cider, strawberry lemonade/limeades, gourmet cocoas, milkshakes, slurpees, etc.
.In elementary school I hated when people said I had black hair...I still kind of do.

edit: 
20a. I do calf raises in random places when I'm bored. Especially in elevators or waiting in lines. I also do crunches when I'm just hanging out with people and there is a floor handy. Much to the amusement of BKellz.