I love hot tubs. I love sitting in them until 2am talking about life, love, and the gospel of Jesus Christ.
I also love 24 hour donut shops.

and I love friends who want to be around forever.
still can't believe how many of those i have.

"I love you" he says very, very convincingly
with sort of fantastic hair and a leather jacket
and then he just gets in the car and drives away.
who wrote this show???

oh, and i cried.
yes, actual crying, with tears going all the way down the face.
watching the season finale of the third season.
which is ridiculous, because i hate fake graduation speeches in tv/movies a lot.

people ask how life is...

people younger than me are cooler than me.
this is disheartening.
i'm just not the carpe-dieming 19 year old i once was.


sometimes i try and direct/produce/1st AD the world.
and, well, i'm learning the world is not exactly run like a film set.
it should be though.
or at least everyone should let me tell them what to do and be more efficient.


in highschool my English teacher told us adverbs were dying out. and i argued with him. because i love adverbs. and he finally agreed that i was probably right and they surely and definitely and assuredly would not die out. (see what i did there?). i love adverbs!!


sometimes, lately, i panic unnecessarily over things. like for a moment today i thought, what if leggings aren't in style in 19 months and i'm can't buy them anywhere? should i go buy five pairs right now? but then i was looking through stuff i was packing up and remembered that time my mom and i made about five pairs of leggings each. just for something to do. oh, and today i was reading emails from friends on missions and i was like, oh wait, i know nothing about being a sister missionary.


i've also been planning my wedding...
i know that there is a stereotype that every girl does this from the age of 5, but that's not true. this was the first. and i only got halfway through.
me: don't worry about me planning my wedding, i just need something to do while i watch boy meets world
mom: i'm pretty sure you'll get on the plane, so i'm not concerned.
...and my very first thought this morning was an idea for centerpieces at the reception.


"when are you speaking?"
"the 15th"
"what time?"
"10:30."
"So you could come speak to our ward too."
"I'd love to."


blurry photos make me want to chew my hand off.
especially as people's facebook profile pictures.
unless they're cool looking.


i'm a genius because i took 2 broken laptop chargers and frankensteined up a working one.


i would like to be in la right now.
and to go to disneyland with candy (the person and the food).


my family ate an entire box of blueberries between 11am and 2pm today.
and no one knows how it happened.


i feel awful because i don't remember people and they remember me.
and it's sort of like being famous, but more like being a jerk.


i have a copy of Preach My Gospel under my pillow.


i don't actually feel like i'm leaving to go on a mission soon. but i have no doubt that it'll be the greatest.


my brain is already trying to switch to italian.


i feel spoiled because i have the most fantastic and interesting people in my life. some people aren't as fun as we are and it's disappointing.


i have been listening to My Favourite Book by Stars a lot. it's wonderful to have stuck in your head. their songs are so soothing. my boss used to fall asleep on the floor in the afternoon when we were closed listening to them. i love them. and real stars. i could look and listen for hours.
and that is why we'll always make it.


my blog gets about 700 views a month.
i wish i knew who all of you people are.
500 of those views are probably from kelsie, alex, candy and jp.
but the other 200 are a mystery.
i feel like i should be more entertaining/profound/something.
or at least better at the English language.


after days of great defensive technique i got shot in the back of the head today while doing dishes.

this is what living at home is like.

I have a little brother. There are nine years between us.
Whenever we see each other (often, as we live in the same house these days) we pretend to shoot each other.
I harnessed his desire to punch me in order to get some knots out of my back.

Caleb: "I know how to make money! I'll get a job--"
me (thinking): That's a very rational plan for an eleven-year-old.
"--and then sue because of Child Labor Laws."
of course.

mum: let's go.
dad: how can we go, you're eating.
m: i'm ready!
d: you don't have shoes on.
m: they're right there, they're slip-ons.
d: [waits a bit anyway] okay, let's go. [gets up and goes to the door] what are you doing?
m: i have to put lipstick on.

my dad walks in while my mom and i are making a list of things i still need for my mission. lord of the rings is playing in the background.
dad: is this just on for inspiration?
me: it's what we need at a time like this.
then the three of us try and quote aragorn's speech at the same time and all do it wrong.
and when the movie finally gets to that part:
everyone: turn it up! turn it up!
mom: I like "today is not" that day better, personally.
dad: Does everyone get excited about that part or is it just us?
me: I'm sure everyone does.

And when my mom said you can't dance to lotr music and I said, "yes you can!" she did interpretive dance into the next room.

Sunday school teacher: the Psalms have a definite rhythm to them.
dad: David was the first rapper.

oh and there's the 70 pound blind dog who will run into you on a regular basis.
and the phones that play some electronic melody throughout the house when they ring.
and the refrigerator that doesn't like to close all the way and then proceeds to beep until you close it.

dad: it's Miss Congeniality 2! I've never seen it.

now you kids coming to visit know what you're getting yourself into.

and why is the 500 in ( )?

Okay, so I claim to not like (500) Days of Summer.

But, obviously I do, because my parents were flipping through the TV guide channel and I went, "500 DAYS OF SUMMER!!? Do we get that channel!??? Record it!!" And ran downstairs, put the tv on the wrong mode so it wouldn't let me record and then started yelling until Will came and helped me.

But, seriously, the little sister is way annoying.
and I totally planned a date to IKEA before this movie made it cool.
and I liked the Smith's in highschool (kidding, I'm not going to play the i-liked-it-before-it-was-cool game. but, seriously, I did)

I just don't like that everyone's like, "Oh, poor him, his life is sooo difficult." Here's the thing. He's not a victim. He is a participant. Okay, maybe a victim of love. But he is a participant in the relationship and chooses to get mixed up with the awesome-yet-crazy-girl who tells him she doesn't want a relationship.
Because, let's be honest with ourselves for a moment. She is weird. Very cute. But also weird.
BUT besides that. She's open with him, right? She says, "Hey, I don't really want anything serious." Her actions don't match that. But maybe she's confused right? Maybe she doesn't want anything serious but does like him so her actions are conflicting only because her thoughts/feelings are conflicting. You know, the "I like you, but I have such-and-such issue/circumstance/past experience/current philosophy/bad timing" We've all been on some side of that, right? And it's relatability makes it a good movie in that sense.
And it is REALLY hard when you like someone and the relationship is complicated and he is not to blame for reacting how any normal human would.

I have issues with the narrator. It's like, "let me set everything up so there's no surprise."
Also, parts are like, "hey, we're indie. we love saying swears and incorporating sexual jokes in clever ways." But I'm not going to blame the filmmakers for enjoying themselves. But it's one of those things you notice when watching it with your parents and 11-year-old brother.

And I didn't believe people when they told me the script I wrote was like this movie, but it kind of is. darnit.

The music in it makes me really happy though.
And I like when he tells the couple holding hands to get a room.

and I like the realisticness and relatability (both which the computer is telling me aren't real words). because it is not simplified or fluffy like many a love story these days.

A Further Example of How Humans Are Fascinating

Fairly regularly I get facebook friend requests from people I don't know, often from countries I've never been to. No friends in common, no reason these people should know me. But I sort of collect them. This last one was my very favorite.


Please click to enlarge so you can enjoy all the details of this one. I won't point them out.


p.s.
Why isn't the plural for human humen?

love letters

Some of my work was featured in Bare Bones Magazine.
I talk about how I love everything. Nothing new, right?
I really love everything.

Incepted.

I would post some raving review about how you should go see Inception. But as far as I can tell, no one needs convincing and most of you have already seen it.

I, sadly, did not realize I was missing Christopher Nolan in my life until this summer when I was luckily converted (seriously, though, why did no one force me to watch Batman Begins or the Prestige, does no one care about my future or my happiness on this earth??) My biggest pet peeve with today's media, particularly television, is when it doesn't have good writing. There is nothing that makes me happier than an intricately crafted story with lovable characters and snappy dialogue. I think a movie/show/book is better if you can't possibly understand it all the first time. And Inception is definitely one of those. Not to mention it has good wholesome themes.

A good story is enough, by any means, but then he makes his little films look gorgeous too and not just in a "let's put this in because it's gorgeous" sort of way. Getting good-looking people and dressing them well helps too.

And the ending? Pretty sure I yelled, "Aw, come on!" but I wouldn't have wanted it any other way.

Also, Christopher Nolan and I have one very important thing in common. We love Michael Caine. I've been listening to the Muppet Christmas Carol soundtrack...

Edit:
But what really happened is that Chris went in and planted this idea in all of our heads that he is the greatest filmmaker ever. Dream within a dream style. Inception's not even a real movie. Because if we think it's a movie we'll never believe it actually happened. And it's more powerful because it's a positive thought.

I just want all my friends to marry each other so that my life can be like Boy Meets World.

love, love, love

I LOVE Oregon.

1. My skin isn't dry. 2. I spent the very, very beginning of today looking at the stars through a break in dark silhouettes of trees. There were BATS flying over our heads. Which sounds scary (and maybe it should've been, but hey, I'm not Batman in his early years) but I thought it was most fantastic. And twigs breaking and other kinds of noises coming from the bushes that might have been anything from aliens to centaurs (oops, I'm a nerd) but there is something so exciting about know there are crazy living creatures nearby, just doing what they do. Oh, and the human that was nearby at the time is rather likable too.

Not to mention when I got home from church on Sunday there were three deer just chilling in my neighbors yard eating cherries. And they just looked at me when I drove up, like, "What?"

And three more crossed in front of us today when my brother was driving.

Now, there are exciting living things in Provo...you know, stray kittens that live under stairwells...and the occasional deer.

And the world is sort of beautiful and magical, right? I mean there are all kinds of crazy things in it. Everywhere.

Also, I love the radio because I got into my car recently, anticipating being kind of sad but Viva La Vida was playing and then Like a Prayer came on. So I couldn't even be sad.

Not like that time a year ago I got into my car sad and Casimir Pulaski Day was playing and my gas tank meter went straight from F to E and I was pretty sure I was in a movie.

When you are in a slightly-more-intimate-than-friendship relationship with someone you start thinking about certain things you didn't have to think about before. Does my breath smell good? Does my hair smell good? Does the rest of me smell good? Do these smells compliment each other? Are my lips chapped? Is there anything unsightly up my nose or on the rest of my face? What is the condition of my chin? How have I never paid attention to my chin before? Do I wear makeup? Is it subtle enough? Is my hair clean? Are my feet clean? Does it really matter if my feet are clean? Does this cardigan make me look fat? What do my teeth look like?

These are also the things I consider before I went to the dentist this morning. That and if I was wearing shoes that would fall off. I'm too paranoid to wear flip-flops to the dentist, because they lay you back and sometime your shoes fall off. I mean it's never happened to me, but what if??

home again.

I bring an energy to the house that my family has gotten used to living without.

I forget Caleb is no longer a toddler and am always trying to cuddle him.
Will commented on the numerous times I've interrupted him since I've been home.
My dad asked me if I was nervous because I was pacing back and forth through the house.
My mom and I are trying to read the same book at the same time which = conflict.
Even the dog (MY dog) has growled at me twice.
And this has only been two days that I've actually been around.

Going from living with an entire apartment to myself to suddenly living with four people leaves me surprised by how much stuff is everywhere. Also, I was in fact pacing earlier, I can't remember the last time I stayed home two nights in a row. I'm just not used to it.

But even if they're sick of me, they love my friends, because we all went to Jake's homecoming and they were ecstatic that Megan came over. Oh, and they'd be thrilled if Alex or Kelsie visited again.

I would say we should fast-forward ahead 1 month, but I still need to buy (and break-in) shoes and find a couple jackets.

Anyway, I'm just complaining. Love my family. My dad is one of the most hilarious people I know and my mom is literally the sweetest woman on this planet. And my brothers are fun too.

And I'm taping old movies and Boy Meets World episodes on the DVR, so it'll be a good month.

I want to go to the beach. Feeling claustrophobic in my own home. But I think mostly it stems from the fact that I can't create anything of any sort of permanence when I am leaving for 18 months and leaving the world behind. 18 months isn't long. But long enough that my mom wants me to pack up my life and put it out of the way. Long enough that I can't start any real projects, any real relationships, any book series, because they all have to be put on hold. Which is fun and exciting and I'm all about living in the moment and I've been all over the place and indulgent and living life with spontaneity and zest. And it's been great to have a month with an excuse for not working and having time to catch with people and on books but also I haven't been able to eat much or sleep much, even though I've been presented with all kind of delicious food lately and my bed here is phenom. I've had heartburn I can actually feel all day, for the past three days, and even though I've always had it, usually I don't feel it.

All I really want to do is go teach people in Southern Italy about how Christ can change their lives and give them hope. And I don't care who you are, we could all use a little more hope in our lives.

But people told me this would happen pre-mission, so I guess I should've seen it coming.

in my head, i have a list of people who (according to me) can and cannot get married while i'm gone.

dear world, i love you.

oh, blog. i have so many stories to tell you of my recent past. however, i will leave you with just one for now.

i was recently at WINCO, my favorite of the grocery stores. i needed shampoo. i felt rather high maintenance going for shampoo at 10 o'clock at night, but i like to smell like my usual self and not whatever shampoo happens to be around like i have been lately. then--confession time--i purposely got in the longest of the three lines because i wanted to read the seventeen magazine. but this turned out to be amazing foresight because the man checking people out (is there another way to say that?) was well...

first of all, his nametag said "Fritz M" which provoked two thoughts. one, Fritz is a brilliant thing to name a child and two, are there really enough Fritz-es employed at the Salem, Oregon WINCO that we need to distinguish with the last name initial? i hope so. add to that a bushy grey mustache under his nose. i was sort of in love. and that was before i noticed the music note suspenders poking out from either side of his apron.

he scanned my shampoo, gave me my change, and called me "dear"

i love people more than i can even begin to describe.
also recently had some good times people watching in portland.

somebody help me they're talking about estrogen supplements

my job for 18 months

But, when he was in Rome, he sought me out very diligently, and found me.
2 Timothy 1:17

We are all fools in love.
-Pride and Prejudice


Life should be a musical. But it's not, musicals are just an agreement between a writer and the audience.
-my journal from when i was in italy (but i don't really know what i was getting at)

the muppets understand life

as an fyi i'm mostly refusing to say "good-bye" to anyone.
i can't handle the theatrics.

the words to this song are fantastic.

"I woke up to this stupid song six times...In one day. Because I kept falling back asleep but my brother was always playing it."
"Did he get married?"
"Yeah."
"One day Chas was singing Justin Bieber and that's when I knew he was married."

Rhondeau-vous

Remember how my life is perfect?
(except that all the goodbye-saying is making me an emotional wreck and i still have to clean my apt and do a dozen things before i go)

Right now I am laying in the middle of a huge comfortable bed under a down comforter. Mr. Knightley the cat is snuggled next to me. And I'm on a Macbook.


I am blessed to be adopted into the Rhondeau family. They live in Salt Lake on a street named after an Ivy League school. I don't visit them as much as I should since E left but they always welcome me with open arms and a glass of water. The house itself is fantastic colorfully but tastefully decorated, but more important than that it's full of love and laughter. Homemade art covers the walls and there is always something delicious being made. It's a home where good movies are watched on projectors and the Bachelor is watched secretly on laptops. The backyard is beautiful and home to chickens and bunnies.

Mamma Rhondeau is full of hugs and laughter and last night she made me a bagel that was half cream cheese and half butter...On one half of the bagel. Because I asked (well, it was sort of what I asked for). Papa Rhondeau is full of wizdom and intellect and I could talk to him for hours and hours. Daniel loves to pretend (rather poorly) that he hates me. Naomi is one of the most beautiful (inside and out) highschoolers I know. And Olivia and I just really get each other, you know? As if there home and family wasn't inviting enough, they recently added a puppy to the mix.

I've got to get up, because O and N host an art camp at their house and they're letting me attend free of charge. Can't pass up that kind of magic.

it's important to reflect on our talents from time to time.

i am ridiculously good at cutting my left ankle while shaving.

dear lauren,
remember when you were doing Cricketless and you said you'd never do Art again?
remember when you were doing Cimmeria Grove and you said that this was your last hooray?
remember when you said you'd start saying no to things?
obviously not. because it's 3am and you are making posters.


good job.

oh, emotions.

just found out my grandma is willing to pay for my entire mission.
i am so grateful
and also so spoiled.

also, my mum is completely amazing and is making me eight skirts and went shopping and found a billion tops for me.
i might actually look cute on my mission.

my life is the easiest thing in the world.