home again.

I bring an energy to the house that my family has gotten used to living without.

I forget Caleb is no longer a toddler and am always trying to cuddle him.
Will commented on the numerous times I've interrupted him since I've been home.
My dad asked me if I was nervous because I was pacing back and forth through the house.
My mom and I are trying to read the same book at the same time which = conflict.
Even the dog (MY dog) has growled at me twice.
And this has only been two days that I've actually been around.

Going from living with an entire apartment to myself to suddenly living with four people leaves me surprised by how much stuff is everywhere. Also, I was in fact pacing earlier, I can't remember the last time I stayed home two nights in a row. I'm just not used to it.

But even if they're sick of me, they love my friends, because we all went to Jake's homecoming and they were ecstatic that Megan came over. Oh, and they'd be thrilled if Alex or Kelsie visited again.

I would say we should fast-forward ahead 1 month, but I still need to buy (and break-in) shoes and find a couple jackets.

Anyway, I'm just complaining. Love my family. My dad is one of the most hilarious people I know and my mom is literally the sweetest woman on this planet. And my brothers are fun too.

And I'm taping old movies and Boy Meets World episodes on the DVR, so it'll be a good month.

I want to go to the beach. Feeling claustrophobic in my own home. But I think mostly it stems from the fact that I can't create anything of any sort of permanence when I am leaving for 18 months and leaving the world behind. 18 months isn't long. But long enough that my mom wants me to pack up my life and put it out of the way. Long enough that I can't start any real projects, any real relationships, any book series, because they all have to be put on hold. Which is fun and exciting and I'm all about living in the moment and I've been all over the place and indulgent and living life with spontaneity and zest. And it's been great to have a month with an excuse for not working and having time to catch with people and on books but also I haven't been able to eat much or sleep much, even though I've been presented with all kind of delicious food lately and my bed here is phenom. I've had heartburn I can actually feel all day, for the past three days, and even though I've always had it, usually I don't feel it.

All I really want to do is go teach people in Southern Italy about how Christ can change their lives and give them hope. And I don't care who you are, we could all use a little more hope in our lives.

But people told me this would happen pre-mission, so I guess I should've seen it coming.