this is what living at home is like.

I have a little brother. There are nine years between us.
Whenever we see each other (often, as we live in the same house these days) we pretend to shoot each other.
I harnessed his desire to punch me in order to get some knots out of my back.

Caleb: "I know how to make money! I'll get a job--"
me (thinking): That's a very rational plan for an eleven-year-old.
"--and then sue because of Child Labor Laws."
of course.

mum: let's go.
dad: how can we go, you're eating.
m: i'm ready!
d: you don't have shoes on.
m: they're right there, they're slip-ons.
d: [waits a bit anyway] okay, let's go. [gets up and goes to the door] what are you doing?
m: i have to put lipstick on.

my dad walks in while my mom and i are making a list of things i still need for my mission. lord of the rings is playing in the background.
dad: is this just on for inspiration?
me: it's what we need at a time like this.
then the three of us try and quote aragorn's speech at the same time and all do it wrong.
and when the movie finally gets to that part:
everyone: turn it up! turn it up!
mom: I like "today is not" that day better, personally.
dad: Does everyone get excited about that part or is it just us?
me: I'm sure everyone does.

And when my mom said you can't dance to lotr music and I said, "yes you can!" she did interpretive dance into the next room.

Sunday school teacher: the Psalms have a definite rhythm to them.
dad: David was the first rapper.

oh and there's the 70 pound blind dog who will run into you on a regular basis.
and the phones that play some electronic melody throughout the house when they ring.
and the refrigerator that doesn't like to close all the way and then proceeds to beep until you close it.

dad: it's Miss Congeniality 2! I've never seen it.

now you kids coming to visit know what you're getting yourself into.