I told Elizabeth I disagreed with one of her theories.

"Well, when we get to heaven and God goes, 'Well done, Elizabeth' you'll be like, 'shoot'."

i just watched my roommate leave and come back twice.
each time she changed into a new outfit
but all of them were work out clothes

moral of the story?
you need a different outfit for running, biking, jogging?

well...

A less than brief overview of my life recently...

i love love.

i love being in love.

i don't care what it does to me.*

i need to photograph my life more...

zoe came into town and everyone loved her immediately
i tried to convince her that byu is where it's at
i think i did an okay job.


brooke and i cleaned a gross alley, in the name of filmmaking

i had my film program interview today and was bombarded with questions on all sides.
which is kind of cool.
nothing like having ten people ask you questions, not waiting for a full answer to ask the next one. and when they have side conversations and forget about you completely.
also, nothing like going into a film interview and not being able to come up with an answer for what movies you like.

i'm all out of contacts which makes me mad because glasses are annoying.

you know what's great? i've been hanging around with someone who i decided to have a crush on in 8th or 9th grade...only took me 6 years to achieve that goal.

problems i have:
spending time with people will always be more important to me than sleep, school
my linguistics class and my inevitable failing of it
i need a haircut hecka bad
i haven't seen enough movies

i am starting to reconsider whether i have the stamina to be a film kid.
at least i'm better than zoe who didn't even last three hours on set.

i can pop my neck and back now, i never used to be able to do that.

my brother is getting married in TWO weeks!!
and i found a husband for my sister (i would marry him myself if he was younger)

i beat brett at speed 8 out of 12 times tonight.
i kind of own at card games.
but not donkey kong, i really fail at that game.

i have been told i'm cute (in one way or another) by at least half a dozen people in the last week.
and while i know it's a compliment...
...i am starting to feel more and more like a puppy.

i really, really like indian food.

and sunflower market, with it's cheap produce and organic food that reminds me of home.

*maybe i should start caring about what it does to me...
naw, that's not it.
i will always be in love with someone or something
it's just my nature

Brief update on my life:

I have never had so many things go wrong in my life at the same time.
I have never had so many things go right in my life at the same time.

Mostly the second, but that's hard to remember when I can't move shoulders for all the stress build-up.

just some questions...

Here's the thing. I never really believed in fate. It's fun to joke about...But not real, right?

Well, now I'm not so sure.

Reasons Relationships Will Always be Difficult:

None of us know how to communicate.
We think we're saying things that we're not.
We think we hear things that aren't being said.
And sometimes people come out of nowhere and decide to be in your life again.

But, that's what makes it fun.

I appreciate boys who drink herbal tea.

Komodo.

I invite you to enjoy a video of epic proportions.



Elizabeth is going to INDONESIA! on her mission.
She will be roaming with animals like these.

I'm so proud.

Oh, did I mention I turned in my application to the film program on Thursday...

Greatest. Feeling. Ever.




We're talking about months and months of work and it's finally done.

whether tis nobler...

Campus Plaza is set up perfectly to see what is going on in everyone's lives.
During a three hour talent show, we decided that this needed to be taken advantage of.
Why not perform for our fellow Plaza-ers?
Thus, ten-at-ten (ten minute performances, starting at ten) was born.

Last night we premiered with classic monologues from Shakespeare's tragedies.
The crowd (which ended up being close to thirty people!) loved us.





and we even allowed Taylor to make a debut.

Where will you go on your mission?
Brett will help you find out with this fool proof method.
Well, fool proof unless you are the fool that gets hit with the pen.

under the cover of darkness.

I am done with my film application.

Aside from re-checking and burning the DVDs.

But I am DONE. I was starting to think it would never really end.

So, it's 3:30 in the morning, but I am way too high-strung right now to go to bed.

So I will discuss our night.

What do you do when tomorrow is plant-a-flower day and you know what you're going to plant them in...But don't have any dirt?

The thing is...There is dirt everywhere, you just have to go about extracting it.

We recommend wearing as much black as possible for the occasion.
Make sure you have the proper tools...

Best to enlist a gang. Three to dig. One to hold the bag. One to scoop dirt up with a mug and put it into the bag. And another to watch out for creepers...and police, but mostly creepers.

Oh, and try to look as sketchy and sexy as possible while doing so.

Always Save.

How many times do we forget to save and loose a document?
Answer: innumerably.

I do it, you do it, our friends do it, we hear endless stories of this fatal document loosing.
But every time we think smugly, "well, you should have saved!"
Then it happens to us weeks later.

Because no matter how often it happens.
You never think to save.

Finally, we've had to invent the technology to do it for us.

Woke up this morning to find my computer had restarted.
About five paragraphs down the drain.

I just stared at it. And though it doesn't have eyes, I'm pretty sure it stared back.
If it had been a puppy, it'd be wagging it's tail, tongue lolling out, and head tilted to one side.
No idea what it had done.

Clicking the little disk icon is really not that hard!! ctrl+s works too.
Don't be the next me.

do something spontaneous today.

Count Your Blessings

I like E. because she makes me strange food.
and makes all my wishes come true.
I like Campus Plaza because there is always something going on, someone walking into our apartment, or something to entertain us, and there are cute boys on one side and fabulous girls on the other.
I like making films because it's rewarding.
I am glad to be done with my creative sample (almost!)
I like my family because they love, understand, and made me who I am today.
I like my friends, because they laugh at my jokes and hug me when I'm down.
I like being in college, because it's fun and liberating and costs too much, but it's good to be poor every now and again.
I like roommates who want to stay up and watch movies while getting sucked into our broken couch and who go along with/come up with some slightly crazy, mostly genius ideas.
Even though they lock me out so I have to go find refuge elsewhere.
And I like mocking people through signs in the window. hehe.

i want you...to want me.

First, an anecdote about the BYU library.

I go on the website, type in "la divina commedia" BYU, which caters to foreign languages, would HAVE to have a copy of it in Italian, as I am sure every other university in the world does as well.

The computer tells me there are no copies and one on hold.

"Whatever, I will just go find another large book to use as a prop in my film, but it makes me sad/confused that they don't have it."

Go to the first row in the Italian section, find a good book. Decide to check out the other rows, just in case.

There is an ENTIRE section devoted to la divina commedia.

They've got to have at least 50 copies. Fat ones, skinny ones, short ones, tall ones, red ones, blue ones, fancy covers, falling apart covers, smelly ones, shiny ones, ANY divina commedia you could ever want.

Moral of the story: computers lie to me.

Finished shooting my creative sample. Freaking out. I need to turn my application in...in ONE WEEK.

Pitched ideas in 112 today and it was actually quite thrilling. Creativity is a wonderful blessing.

Also, I have a feeling I am going to loose all my friends once I get into this film thing full force.

The other night we tried to take off this bit of metal that prevents our sliding glass doors (which they've tried to convince us are "windows") from opening. Being stereotypical girls, we have no tools. Luckily, boys are next door. They let us borrow a screwdriver and when that didn't work pliers and a pocket knife that included just about everything. The problem is...Our management is clever. They filed down the screws in such a way that you can't get them to turn!! What trickeration (to use a word my Humanities teacher loves). So we were out of luck.

Helped with casting today and entertained the actresses while they waited for their turn. It is amazing how actors seem to have certain similar traits. I can't pinpoint them, but I do think you've got to have a certain persona to be good at it. Every single one asked me what I want to do specifically with film. And I admitted I don't know yet. Then Derek's girlfriend asked me too.

I secretly want to be an actress again.

oh, the glory!

The first Monday in March is Casimir Pulaski Day.
Sufjan Stevens (who sings my soul) wrote a song called Casimir Pulaski Day.

This is our tribute that has been in the making for the past three days:

and the 4-H stone
The things I brought you
When I found out you had cancer of the bone

Your father cried on the telephone
And drove his car to the

In the morning through the window shade
When the light pressed up against your shoulder blade
I could see what you were reading

Oh the glory that the Lord has made
And the complications you could do without
When I kissed you on the mouth

Tuesday night at

We lift our hands and pray over your body
But nothing ever happens

I remember at

In the living room when you kissed my neck
And I almost touched your blouse

In the morning,

When your father found out what we did that night
Oh the glory when you ran outside
With your shirt tucked in and

And you told me not to follow you.

Sunday night when

I find the card where you wrote it out

On the floor at the great divide
With my shirt tucked in and my shoes untied

In the morning when you finally go

And the nurse runs in with her head hung low
And the cardinal hits the window

In the morning in the winter shade

I thought I saw you breathing

Oh the glory that the Lord has made
And the complications when I see his face
In the morning in the window

Oh the glory when he took our place
But he took my shoulders and he shook my face
And he takes and he takes and he takes

Note: We really wanted to kiss someone on the mouth and cause complications they could live without, but, well, we're a little bit chicken.

Though, we did have the guts to ask an almost stranger to pose with us in his living room.

And to get up at 5:30am to sit at the top of the stairs.

Basically all the credit goes to E.

And I adore Melanie, for going along with us, despite hearing the song for the first time just a day prior to the magic.

just because it's real don't mean it's going to work

I bought really, really cool socks.

In the evening (well almost 11pm) I held a bible study where we discussed the importance of being like a child (Matthew 18:1-14) and ate brownies.

Here's how I feel about the upcoming film application deadline: if I don't get in, I am not sure it'll affect my life that much. I'll major in English or something and probably still work on film shoots, because people keep requesting me to work on films even though I am not in the program and I am slowly working my way up. Granted, it would be REALLY useful to actually know things.

Now a few words on communication.
It is amazing that as humans we have so many failures of communication. A person can feel as though they are conveying something quite clearly. And receiving clear messages back. But then it turns out you're wrong.

I recently rewatched the Season 2 finale of The Office. I am not sure there is anything more tragic than a sad Jim face paired with "I'm sorry I misinterpreted our friendship."

I've decided I am addicted to human interaction. I really can't get enough of other people. I love to entertain, and I love for people to love me. Being with people. Doing things with people. Will always be more important to me than school work.

And it really hurts my heart knowing I am being ignored when I don't know what I did to deserve it. Yet, at the same time, how am I not used to this?

On a lighter note. I feel like I am in a television show. Because sitting here, at the kitchen table, I can see into the kitchen of the boys next door. I feel like a stalker, but I really can't help it. It's bizarre, because I feel like I should be able to talk to them from here, but there are two panes of glass about about ten feet in between us.

The need to be crazy and reckless is overwhelming.

It is now 2am. I have to write a page (2 1/2 pages), read 200 pages, look up 4...5? poems in Italian, and memorize the passato remoto.

this picture sums up what i was talking about on thursday:

the things i brought you when i found out

To answer Lindsey's question. The header picture is from the set of a short student film that...

IS PREMIERING THIS WEDNESDAY IN THE JKB. 8pm. Come see it [if you're in Provo]!!
I am crossing my fingers that there aren't any continuity issues that will make me feel bad about myself.
Note about the picture: we painted those walls that color blue. ;)

Now that that's out of the way.

Yesterday I woke up to Melanie saying, "hey Lauren, want to go to the waffle breakfast."
Today I woke up to Melanie saying, "hey Lauren, Liz went to the hospital so we're going to pray for her."

My roommate, Liz, always thinks of other people and bettering herself. She runs every morning, practices bassoon a couple hours a day, makes elaborate meals that are almost entirely vegetables. And always leaves nice notes for people and is constantly serving.

and...at 5:30am in the morning SHE DROVE HERSELF TO THE HOSPITAL.
Because she is insane and so considerate of others. We were all upset, because she has all of us AND a boyfriend who would have gladly taken her.
(she was way sick yesterday and this morning had a cyst removed, but she's recovering well)

But I say all this to sum up the point, that I want to be as cool as my roommates someday.
We made Liz a card and I came up with the phrase
You may have had an operation BUT you are always our INSPIRATION.
I should work for Hall-mark.
But, seriously, I don't know how such incredible people exist.

Tomorrow is Casimir Pulaski Day. And our celebration plans are epic in a Sufjany way.

Today I wore two different shoes. My indecisiveness has hit a new high. Hardly anyone noticed though (except my neighbor who yelled to me the second I walked out the door, "...you're unique, I'll give you that").

Sometimes being strange is far too liberating.

We're going to the hospital to visit her. Hospitals always bring back such interesting memories...