You are going to grow up in a world completely different than mine. I mean, I don't know what could possibly come after the iPod, but I had a portable cassette player growing up. And that, my loves, is class. You'll probably have to learn three languages in Elementary School to catch up with the world, or maybe they won't even have Elementary School anymore and knowledge will be fed to you like apples (oh gosh, I really hope they still have apples).
So maybe when you read this you'll think I'm speaking a foreign language (Don't worry, I don't understand half the things my mother says). Or maybe I married some crazy returned missionary who raised you so that your first language is Russian or Icelandic and this really is a foreign language for you. I wouldn't be surprised if I let such a thing happen, or even encouraged it.
Maybe I'll include a glossary in the back.