Vampires Suck

1. I've already exploited that pun for my own use and made awesome shirts that said, "Vampires Suck" on the front and "Werewoves Bite" on the back. So, yeah, it's a clever enough pun. And you know how I love puns.

The ad says, "from the guys who couldn't sit through another vampire movie."

And yet, you're expecting us to want to? We've already all taken time to make fun of Twilight and it's accompanying movies. I highly doubt, especially after seeing repeated trailers during the commercial breaks of my all night the Nanny marathons*, that there is anything this movie has to offer that we haven't already mocked in our own conversations or seen on youtube.

It's just too easy and therefore I'm not impressed.
Try doing a parody of A Walk to Remember, now that takes skill.

*I have a problem. I'm starting to think all I want out of my life is to be a nanny for a dapper theater producer with an English accent and tend to his three kids and get into shinanagins and wear really tight neon/zebra/multi-colored striped dresses and banter with the cynical butler. and ohmigosh why don't they get together already??! Television shows are CRUEL. They just string you along and drag things out (unless it's Glee, then everything happens in one episode and they never mention it again) until your emotions are a scramble and you start to feel like these characters are your friends and you will just die if they don't find true love and happiness. Because it's always right in front of them all along. And SO obvious. The sexual tension is near deadly. Except Jim/Pam season 2, that was such a good kind of awful. And don't get me started on Minute to Win it. I only started watching because I wanted to see Courtney in the audience, but then you get people on there that you shouldn't care about, but you do and no matter how dumb sounding the task is (i.e. bounce this ping pong ball into some household object with some complication) you are immediately sucked in because THEY ONLY HAVE 60 SECONDS and WILL THEY MAKE IT? You know what that means? I need to go on a mission and stop watching television. Having free time and cable is something that I don't come across much and I am starting to think it is better that way.