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May 4, 2012

bravery and also just passion for passion's sake.

I have this friend, named Elizabeth. She is beautiful inside and out and inspires me on an almost daily basis. This is my favorite of her latest work, found here.

“You are crazy!” they said. “You are so brave!” they said. “But I wasn’t scared,” I explained, confused.
It’s right there in the straight-up right-now dictionary definition: Brave. Verb. To encounter with courage and fortitude, to defy; to overcome one’s initial fear(s). There is no bravery without a little trembling.

Most the time I am convinced that brave is the best thing to be. 
We Bought a Zoo mentions the idea of 20 seconds of insane courage. Nike says, Just do it. I say, figure out what you want and then go get it. In a conversation with my friend Angela yesterday where I wondered aloud about being too forward she said, "I just know what I want." 

Yesterday, I had a couple different conversations with two of my very favorite people to have conversations with and we talked about fear and how it just gets in the way.

I'm in a screenwriting class and it is changing my life day-by-day. I came to a very serious and very important realization. A realization that I am sure I have come to before, but it's the sort of thing that has to be realized repeatedly to have any sort of lasting effect.

Fear holds us back from accomplishing anything. I was joking that I feel like I am falling in love with writing and then I realized that is exactly what it is. And, in love, as far as I can tell you have to be all-in. Fully invested. Or it'll never work. Nothing will happen. And you'll sit around staring each other in the face. 

Which depending on how good-looking the person is would get dull in about 5 minutes or 5 seconds.

You have got to feel something. I get so riled up about people who don't get riled up. Really? You are just going to sit there and not get excited about life when there are so many things to do, see, hear, touch, smell, and feel!? There is so much doing to do. No wonder there is so much sadness in the world. 

My favorite color is red, my favorite animal is a lion. I like banging my fists on pulpits whenever I get the occasion to do so. Not so much for what they actually are, but for what they represent subconsciously. I don't always use correct grammar and I don't always finish my sentences. 

It happens often that when I am recounting stories of my life to people they ask, "did you really say that." Yes, I did. Because when people get in a conversation with me I am assuming that means they have come looking for my opinion on some matter and if that's not what they want they can talk to someone else. Because that is why I talk to people, because I want their opinions and their stories, I don't want them to tell me what they think I want to hear.  

I'm not perfect at this either. I'll sit down and write a nice little fluffy story because I am too worried about delving into things I actually feel. But when you do delve, that's when real stories start to happen, when you can help other people feel things because you are.

And yes, this does mean sometimes "getting into trouble" but who gives a--. 

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