Thats a song by the Byrds, but also
a scripture so it's appropriate for all occasions.
So like the champion I am I...deleted all the pictures off one of my camera cards. Yeah, pretty sad, because it had the adorable video of us singing to our teachers in the mtc, but I think about 5 other cameras captured it so it should be okay and all the important pictures are stored in email/blogs, but it was still kind of sad, because you never know. I hit "format card" while fiddling with my camera and then it did that ominous bar going across the screen and everything was gone
. wah, wahhhh.
But there is the "hard core" picture we took after deep cleaning day with all our junk we threw out and some pizzas we ran out and grabbed for celebrating (conveniently there is a pizza place next door).
I don't know if you can tell but
I am rocking...the. most. comfortable. pants. ever.
Mom, remember how before my mission I told you all I ever wanted was some of those super comfy soccer pants that don't seem to exist anywhere but on the legs of soccer players? Well, I found some in our "death closet" i.e. the abandoned wear of missionaries gone by.
Best discovery ever. Besides of course all the 90s styled skirts and blazers we found. Every six months in the mission we have deep cleaning August 15th is a holiday where everyone goes to the beach so no one is around and then Jan. 1st is when we had the other one.
We dont have any carpets here, but if we did I would've called Borus. Who is sitting by me in internet today? Our good friend from the middle east, and he just asked me to translate someone else's bad english so he could respond to them in equally bad english...Oh how I wish I could read that conversation. He just said, "you were sick" and pointed to my face. Have I mentioned how sweet he is?
Well, I debated whether I was going to mention this because I dont want to worry you, mom, but...
the rash exploded over my ENTIRE body and I became this hideous red thing, a cross between Clifford and a Dalmatian and I had to go to this Italian doctor and get a shot and then I was forbidden to go out in the sun by Dr. Dahl so my companion and I were once again...quarantined in the house for a few days. And we have been entertained by wondering what my skin will look like every new day because it is always a surpise.
Before this we escaped and had some lessons on Thursday and yesterday we escaped again. Sunday we went to church for an hour but I was so uncomfortable we had to leave. So it's better, but it is in this awful stage where (do not continue if things like dead skin gross you out) my skin is falling off everywhere.
To the point where it is comical. I was trying to clean off a dvd and every time I did more little flakes would get on it...gross, right? My companion calls me the winter wonderland, or a leper. But the worst part is my face, I look like an old man with a 5 o clock shadow. it's all white and I cannot actually move my face all the way and we walk around jumping from shade to shade so as to not expose it to anything and I am SO GROSS.
Not to mention it itches like crazy, it didnt itch, oddly enough when it was just a rash. It's like the end of a bad sunburn...on my ENTIRE body. No where is spared. I am on antihistamines or however you spell it and patiently waiting because I know this too shall pass (even though we still don't know what caused it) but last night I stubbed my toe and skin came off and at that point I started looking for a camera because, really? Can't I have one part of my body function normally? Not even the toe, I do such a thorough job.
Mostly I feel bad for my companion. I try hard not to complain, but it's not always easy. But I am still, not yet as Job because I have all you and more and I am not even as bad as a leper and even though my face is ugly people still talk to me. and even love me. Today we get to see Romeo, we havent seen him in ages, but he called to make sure I am alive, everyone has been so nice about all this. Slla Puglisi took us to her doctor and Emiliano called to make sure I was okay and bishop gave me a blessing with the usual "these things are helping you become a better person and a better daughter of God."
and the Anziani kept calling and asking what they could do. I think of the song/scripture that goes, "the Son of God has descended below all things, art thou greater?" No. Not even close.
And I have been thinking a lot about the scriptures and why it is so important that we read them every day (because it is hard for people to develop and then keep up that habit) and I realized that when we read the scriptures we really come to know God. And how He works. And how many times does he have to tell us that His ways are not our ways and He knows better than us before it'll stick?
Probably a few more times.
But it is true.
I get frustrated, because I am doing his work so why doesn't he just heal me so I can go do it or protect me from all these bizarre illnesses? He knows what we need better than we do. He can see the big picture, the whole maze when we can only see the wall. He knows what He is doing and he is VERY aware.
Now for a game I like to play called, where were you a year ago? A YEAR AGO...I was set apart by President Lathen as A MISSIONARY!
My family and Zoe (AH YOU ARE GETTING MARRIED THIS WEEKEND! I wanted to write you but dont have time but a million congratulations and it is going to be the best ever and I am so there in Spirit and don't get scared and be in love) and Sybil were there and gave me good advice that I still think about, along with other advice I got from people that day. And afterwards, we ate ice cream? I remember wanting to eat ice cream but I can't remember if we actually did.
Earlier in the day I had this frantic need to call everyone and tell them exactly how I felt about them and I remember sitting in my room--that hadn't really changed since Freshman year, with those blue walls and the puppy posters, like you said mom, among obscure remakes of Hamlet posters and my Nimbus 2000) and being like, "I should have organized this better..." (sorry, mom).
And I was thinking of all the things I should have done that it was too late for now and then I just felt calm, because I knew everything would be taken care of and that I was doing the right thing. And guess what. A year later I STILL feel that way. I am doing the right thing and I am so happy about it. So even though I didn't imagine a year ago that at this point in time I would be sitting on the side of a 200 year old tub (okay, it's probably not that old) having conversations on the telephone in which I tried to describe in very specific (because "pretty small" doesn't cut it with Dr. Dahl) terms about rashes and other inexplicable medical conditions that somehow I manged to make explainable or that I would meet so many beautiful people not just from Italy but ALL over the world.
That I would absolutely love all my companions even though they are nothing like me. That nearly all my closest friends would get married and I would only be a little sad. That the things I thought I knew were not even a particle of the things I know now about God, life, love, and human interactions...That the things the scriptures say about loosing yourself to find yourself are completely true.
And it feels like just yesterday. I just barely hugged my college girl squad goodbye and walked into the MTC yesterday.
It does not feel like August because it actually hasn't been that hot which doesn't help with the whole, time has no meaning anymore thing. But I like it. It's like floating around in space where all that matters is how many people you help each day.
Now I know why missionaries never want to leave.
amore,
Sorella Laws
p.s.
just saw the update on lds.org for the jerusalem set for the new church movie...oh, drool, it is gorgeous.
babetta, you need to start talking to VanDubs about how great I am and how much I deserve a job with church media when I get back...more details on this plan to follow...Which reminds me I had a crazy dream that I was home and Brad Barber called me because I was somehow still working for him? and he was like, "I am in Ragusa!" and I was like, "oh, I just left. I don't actually know why I am home, I wasn't done yet." and then I went and organized some things for First Look,
just like the good old days.
p.p.s.
mom, i dont even remember what my talks where about, is there anything good in them you could send me so i could remember? just a few notes or something.
a scripture so it's appropriate for all occasions.
So like the champion I am I...deleted all the pictures off one of my camera cards. Yeah, pretty sad, because it had the adorable video of us singing to our teachers in the mtc, but I think about 5 other cameras captured it so it should be okay and all the important pictures are stored in email/blogs, but it was still kind of sad, because you never know. I hit "format card" while fiddling with my camera and then it did that ominous bar going across the screen and everything was gone
. wah, wahhhh.
But there is the "hard core" picture we took after deep cleaning day with all our junk we threw out and some pizzas we ran out and grabbed for celebrating (conveniently there is a pizza place next door).
I don't know if you can tell but
I am rocking...the. most. comfortable. pants. ever.
Mom, remember how before my mission I told you all I ever wanted was some of those super comfy soccer pants that don't seem to exist anywhere but on the legs of soccer players? Well, I found some in our "death closet" i.e. the abandoned wear of missionaries gone by.
Best discovery ever. Besides of course all the 90s styled skirts and blazers we found. Every six months in the mission we have deep cleaning August 15th is a holiday where everyone goes to the beach so no one is around and then Jan. 1st is when we had the other one.
We dont have any carpets here, but if we did I would've called Borus. Who is sitting by me in internet today? Our good friend from the middle east, and he just asked me to translate someone else's bad english so he could respond to them in equally bad english...Oh how I wish I could read that conversation. He just said, "you were sick" and pointed to my face. Have I mentioned how sweet he is?
Well, I debated whether I was going to mention this because I dont want to worry you, mom, but...
the rash exploded over my ENTIRE body and I became this hideous red thing, a cross between Clifford and a Dalmatian and I had to go to this Italian doctor and get a shot and then I was forbidden to go out in the sun by Dr. Dahl so my companion and I were once again...quarantined in the house for a few days. And we have been entertained by wondering what my skin will look like every new day because it is always a surpise.
Before this we escaped and had some lessons on Thursday and yesterday we escaped again. Sunday we went to church for an hour but I was so uncomfortable we had to leave. So it's better, but it is in this awful stage where (do not continue if things like dead skin gross you out) my skin is falling off everywhere.
To the point where it is comical. I was trying to clean off a dvd and every time I did more little flakes would get on it...gross, right? My companion calls me the winter wonderland, or a leper. But the worst part is my face, I look like an old man with a 5 o clock shadow. it's all white and I cannot actually move my face all the way and we walk around jumping from shade to shade so as to not expose it to anything and I am SO GROSS.
Not to mention it itches like crazy, it didnt itch, oddly enough when it was just a rash. It's like the end of a bad sunburn...on my ENTIRE body. No where is spared. I am on antihistamines or however you spell it and patiently waiting because I know this too shall pass (even though we still don't know what caused it) but last night I stubbed my toe and skin came off and at that point I started looking for a camera because, really? Can't I have one part of my body function normally? Not even the toe, I do such a thorough job.
Mostly I feel bad for my companion. I try hard not to complain, but it's not always easy. But I am still, not yet as Job because I have all you and more and I am not even as bad as a leper and even though my face is ugly people still talk to me. and even love me. Today we get to see Romeo, we havent seen him in ages, but he called to make sure I am alive, everyone has been so nice about all this. Slla Puglisi took us to her doctor and Emiliano called to make sure I was okay and bishop gave me a blessing with the usual "these things are helping you become a better person and a better daughter of God."
and the Anziani kept calling and asking what they could do. I think of the song/scripture that goes, "the Son of God has descended below all things, art thou greater?" No. Not even close.
And I have been thinking a lot about the scriptures and why it is so important that we read them every day (because it is hard for people to develop and then keep up that habit) and I realized that when we read the scriptures we really come to know God. And how He works. And how many times does he have to tell us that His ways are not our ways and He knows better than us before it'll stick?
Probably a few more times.
But it is true.
I get frustrated, because I am doing his work so why doesn't he just heal me so I can go do it or protect me from all these bizarre illnesses? He knows what we need better than we do. He can see the big picture, the whole maze when we can only see the wall. He knows what He is doing and he is VERY aware.
Now for a game I like to play called, where were you a year ago? A YEAR AGO...I was set apart by President Lathen as A MISSIONARY!
My family and Zoe (AH YOU ARE GETTING MARRIED THIS WEEKEND! I wanted to write you but dont have time but a million congratulations and it is going to be the best ever and I am so there in Spirit and don't get scared and be in love) and Sybil were there and gave me good advice that I still think about, along with other advice I got from people that day. And afterwards, we ate ice cream? I remember wanting to eat ice cream but I can't remember if we actually did.
Earlier in the day I had this frantic need to call everyone and tell them exactly how I felt about them and I remember sitting in my room--that hadn't really changed since Freshman year, with those blue walls and the puppy posters, like you said mom, among obscure remakes of Hamlet posters and my Nimbus 2000) and being like, "I should have organized this better..." (sorry, mom).
And I was thinking of all the things I should have done that it was too late for now and then I just felt calm, because I knew everything would be taken care of and that I was doing the right thing. And guess what. A year later I STILL feel that way. I am doing the right thing and I am so happy about it. So even though I didn't imagine a year ago that at this point in time I would be sitting on the side of a 200 year old tub (okay, it's probably not that old) having conversations on the telephone in which I tried to describe in very specific (because "pretty small" doesn't cut it with Dr. Dahl) terms about rashes and other inexplicable medical conditions that somehow I manged to make explainable or that I would meet so many beautiful people not just from Italy but ALL over the world.
That I would absolutely love all my companions even though they are nothing like me. That nearly all my closest friends would get married and I would only be a little sad. That the things I thought I knew were not even a particle of the things I know now about God, life, love, and human interactions...That the things the scriptures say about loosing yourself to find yourself are completely true.
And it feels like just yesterday. I just barely hugged my college girl squad goodbye and walked into the MTC yesterday.
It does not feel like August because it actually hasn't been that hot which doesn't help with the whole, time has no meaning anymore thing. But I like it. It's like floating around in space where all that matters is how many people you help each day.
Now I know why missionaries never want to leave.
amore,
Sorella Laws
p.s.
just saw the update on lds.org for the jerusalem set for the new church movie...oh, drool, it is gorgeous.
babetta, you need to start talking to VanDubs about how great I am and how much I deserve a job with church media when I get back...more details on this plan to follow...Which reminds me I had a crazy dream that I was home and Brad Barber called me because I was somehow still working for him? and he was like, "I am in Ragusa!" and I was like, "oh, I just left. I don't actually know why I am home, I wasn't done yet." and then I went and organized some things for First Look,
just like the good old days.
p.p.s.
mom, i dont even remember what my talks where about, is there anything good in them you could send me so i could remember? just a few notes or something.
1 comment:
This last entry was so great. My heart breaks for her because of all the freak illnesses she seems to keep getting, and yet her unique and amazing way she writes about and copes with each challenge inspires me to be more grateful. I love that she and Sorella Stebar were able to have "the scambi she's always dreamed of". I posted pictures from the zone activity and their day in Ragusa on Chelsea Stebar's face book page that are really great. Wendy Stebar aka Sorella Stebar's Mom
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