txts n things

Since the semester is over and it is no longer required of me to write here every week you can see how strong my loyalty is to this thing. A handful of summers ago I posted every day. EVERY day. Not really sure how someone flighty and non-commital as I managed to do such a thing, but there is that knowledge that it is possible.

I was just reading my friend, Jennie's, blog (which is, unfortunately for all of you, private) and she had posted some text messages her husband had sent her years ago. 

I might be getting a new phone soon and I have been thinking about what a tragedy it will be to loose some of my texts and some of those memories.

I love having things written down and collected...that's why I email people who live two blocks away from me, that's why I blog...etc. Because they are tangible examples of love and affection. Spoken words and actions are great and all too, but they are easy to forget.

I think it is a good insight to the kind of life you lead...

-Adventure?

-Yes please

-Can you pick me up from Diana's?

-Is that where your quincinera was?

-Yes

-Will I need shoes?

-Nope. Especially when you see how I'm dressed.

-I know. Also, you're hawt, that is all.

-That is NOT all

-Ha, not what I meant. I meant, "you're hawt. That's all I have to say at this moment." 

-Just finishing up. I assume you've eaten dinner, right?

-I'm still hungry if that's what you're asking

-I could never make him happy

-What makes you say that?

-He's too talented for me

-Well that's not the MOST ridiculous thing I've ever heard you say, but...

-He looks better on camera...

-Unlikely 

-You look good

-Thanks. You look good always

-Thank you. Marry me.

-Okay

"Parks and rec is a good idea. Maybe we'll drop by in a minute to pick up a camera. Thought we'd give you a heads up, you know, because of the making out"

"For reals. I had fun. And I promise I'm not a tool"

"What're you up to tomorrow? Want to help make a million sandwiches?"

"And frankly, between us chickens..."

etc.

Here's the Secret

The secret to life is that it is exceptionally good.

There is good in the world. 

Many bad things have been happening lately.  These things often overshadow the good--because that's what bad things do, they create shadows--they block the light. But the light is still there. 

My friend Bette has a good outlook on life, probably because she grew up in NYC.

This Mr. Rogers quote has been floating around, I think it is a good one:

accompanying article about children and media

The first time I watched the previously mentioned Girl Rising documentary I thought it was SO depressing. How can there be young girls all around the world who are being used as slaves and beaten and neglected. It made me feel awful. Watching it again on Wednesday, however, I realized that it is optimistic because the stories were about the girls who were changing their fate, they were rising up out of their difficult situations. 

During my mission in Italy and in other times in my life I have talked to the downtrodden and hopeless. I've felt that way myself and I've asked why? Why do these things happen? Why is there so much heartache?  

My brilliant friend Babetta was also talking recently about how we consume so much violence in the media we watch these days. We sometimes glorify the bad guys--I mean, usually they are the sexy ones with dark eyes and great jawlines. We like the idea of dabbling in darkness, in sin, whatever you want to call it, because those are the "cool" kids. 

There was this unfortunate advertisement at BYU where they claimed James Bond was a good role model because he is clean shaven. Immediate backlash included, "Except, you know, he kills people, sleeps with everyone, and is basically an alcoholic" (all things BYU really stands for).

Our fictional role-models should be the Leslie Knopes of the world. People who are trying to make a difference. ;) Or, you know, Dumbledore...Because I think quoting fictional characters, when they are wise is totally valid:

“It was important, Dumbledore said, to fight, and fight again, and keep fighting, for only then could evil be kept at bay, though never quite eradicated. . . .” (Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince)

I do believe there is an evil force in the world and that it is something we have to fight against, we have to show that dark force the light we all carry for good. We have to show it that no matter how many times we are bombed, beaten, shot at or starved we will rise up. We will help on another. And we will not loose faith in humanity. Because it is not our humanness that causes tragedies. We humans are good. The world is good. The sun is still there when the clouds cover it. We will never get rid of evil, but we need to keep fighting. #dumbledorewisdom 

Girl Rising

I mentioned this documentary in my last post but it's worth mentioning again because it is playing this Wednesday at 7pm (for free) in the bottom of the Tanner building at BYU.

 

This film is a great series of vignettes set in different countries/situations where educating girls is not a priority and the girls that are trying to rise up out of that by getting an education.

For some time now I have decided that being a motivational speaker for young girls would actually be my dream job. Young people have such innovation and ambition in them and I feel like that gets squished out at people is they are not fortunate enough to grow up in environments with parents or mentors that actively cultivate talent and ideas.

I read something once that said a parent should try not to say "no" but to think of ways to redirect children instead of just shooting them down and telling them they "can't" obviously they can't do certain things, like run out into the street or do drugs, but instead of saying "stop doing that" we can redirect them into something more productive. Like running cross-country or doing something artistic.

Kushal Chakrabarti (founder of Vittana) came to BYU a couple weeks ago and told us his story about starting his own non-profit. He said,

"Impatience is good for innovation. The world will always tell you to wait." 

My mission president once told us about his experience as him and his friend tried to found Jet Blue airlines. Most people they approached said, "If it was a good idea, someone else would've thought of it already." To which my mission president's friend responded, "That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard--you could say that about any new idea." Nowadays, Jet Blue is successful enough.

So, let's not hold each other back.

Smart is the New Sexy: Insecurities Aren't Worth our Time

Disclaimer: This post applies to guys/girls equally but I'm obviously a girl and it's from my perspective.
Be sure and read the linked posts in this because they say things better than I do.

I've been thinking and having conversations about what makes a powerful woman. In different groups and cultures women are feeling oppressed and that is something we need to resolve. One of the things that our American culture/media seems to be telling us is that women are most powerful when they are sexy, man-eating seductresses. Companies like Victoria's Secret are bombarding young girls with undergarments that read "Feeling Lucky?" and "I Dare You" and "Let's Make Out" (Victoria's Secret's Little Secret).

I enjoy feeling sexy. I own red underwear. But there is a reason that mothers don't want their 14-year-olds wearing "I dare you" panties. I want my 14-year-old to wear "Chess Club Champion" underwear. Can we make that a thing? Or instead of "Feeling Lucky?" how about "Let's talk about our feelings...Actually, let me put my pants back on and we can talk about our feelings." Physical intimacy is an important part of relationships, but it can be damaging if not handled correctly. (Another Post on Victoria's Secrets). Especially for young people.

As a not-bad-looking girl I have at times had a complex that boys are only into me because of my looks. This is because I have heard the way my guy friends talk about girls and how important physical attraction is to them. You know, the "hit it and quit it" mentality.  I've been there for the guys' conversations where one of them comes home from a date and the first question is, "So, did you make out with her?" Though I know not all guys think this way, I still feel that way because I live in a society where I feel like some physicality is expected or desired after the first or second date because that's the way we talk about it (girls too). Success in a relationship is determined by "how far" someone gets.

We don't seem to know how to communicate what we are comfortable with physically, because we think we know what the other person wants, when we don't. See: UN-MEMORIZING THE “SILENCE IS SEXY” DATE SCRIPT.

Sadly, and this is a personal problem I realize, this has made me paranoid that any guy who is interested in me is just interested in my body. I find myself constantly searching for validation. "You're beautiful" "Thanks, I'm also hilarious." or "You should see how great I am at coming up with slogans." So in this ironic sort of way, someone telling me I look great makes me more self-conscious because I feel like that's all they're noticing.

From sweet grandma-types to boys trying to woo me I have heard from a variety of people that I am "so pretty". Don't get me wrong, I enjoy a compliment on my looks, but I worry about how much value we put into those physical things. I don't want to get depressed when I start to realize that no amount of physical alteration can hold back wrinkles or sags or the other things we are told are unattractive. Or even worse, that it can hold them back/perk them up if I inject enough silicon into the right places. I want someone to be in love with the parts of me that'll last.

Part of this problem is porn. The effects porn is having on our society are real and we are letting more and more things slip into the mainstream that used to be behind locked doors. Ads and movies are decreasing their level of sensitivity and in one way or another portraying women as objects to be looked at. I want to be seen as a thinking, vibrant, passionate woman, not an object of lust. I think it needs to be removed from our society if we want our girls (and boys) to grow up with healthy views of sexuality.

We need to teach women that smart is sexy. That getting educated is important. On Thursday I saw the documentary Girl Rising and it gave wonderful perspective on how much power there is in an educated woman. That women are more than servants or spectators in our societies and that educating a woman is one of the greatest worldwide investments we can make.

Women are not objects to be sold and passed around in various forms of slavery as is happening around the world. Some people are put into these circumstances due to events outside their control, some of us willing gravitate towards people who don't treat us well because we don't realize how much we are worth. 

I am grateful that I was raised in a home, culture, and religion were I was told that I was smart and talented. That my talents were encouraged and that I had people who supported my dream. I am glad that I was taught that I am a daughter of God and that I have infinite worth...

"The world has enough women who are tough; we need women who are tender. There are enough women who are coarse; we need women who are kind. There are enough women who are rude; we need women who are refined. We have enough women of fame and fortune; we need more women of faith. We have enough greed; we need more goodness. We have enough vanity; we need more virtue. We have enough popularity; we need more purity." (Margaret D. Nadauld)

So I have trust issues sometimes. Sometimes I don't commit because I've been taught that boys don't commit. That they're going to leave me for someone hotter or more desirable or more fun or more whatever else I'm not. That there's no chance of keeping them around if I'm not a good kisser. That they're going to be grossed out if there's something in my nose or if I miss a spot when I shave my legs or if there is dry skin on my elbow. That I have to be completely put together and smell like flowers and wear 3-inch heels (which I actually enjoy--so that's not a problem). That they're going to be upset if I don't like sports or haven't seen every Batman movie. That I'm not smart enough or too smart. I try to be things that I think I'm supposed to be.

Then I realized that I'm not going to try and find people who will like me by pretending to be something I'm not because those aren't the types of relationships that have any endurance. So now I try and be as odd as possible upon meeting someone so they know exactly what they're getting into. ;)

I am tired of being told that I need to be "tough" and "edgy" or "sexy" and "flawless" to be strong. I want to be sweet and feminine. I want to be intelligent, witty, and hilarious. I like being a girl. I like having someone help me put my suitcase in the overhead bin when I'm looking pathetic. I like that I'm not a boy (even though ironically I thought I was a boy the first six years of my life). I think women  should embrace the womanly things about us. We need to embrace our imperfections and embrace our vulnerabilities.

We should stop trying to be something we're not. Stop doing things we are not comfortable with.

Because here's the thing, one day my face broke out in a couple large spots before I went to a conference and I felt awful (I didn't have any makeup to cover it up with). That day three guys got my number. Just saying...Maybe these notions we have about what is or isn't attractive don't matter as much as we think they do.

Sometimes you find boys who think it's "hawt" that you know how to spell "judgment" correctly. Boys who tell you they love your brain. Boys who don't let you kiss them until they've taken you on a nice date first. Those boys also exist (we call them nerds) and are even more manly than the rough-and-tough controlling "manly" men portrayed as sex symbols in media. You can keep your James Bonds and What's-his-face Greys.

“The real lover is the man who can thrill you by kissing your forehead.” ― Marilyn Monroe

Went to Jurassic Park last night and I got many a compliment on my dinosaur t-shirt and tennis shoes. That's the way I roll. That's the way anyone can roll if they want. Let's all just be who we are and find someone who loves us for that and forget all the crap media is trying to teach us about what makes us valuable or attractive. 

Multi-tasking Addiction

I have the following tabs open in my browers right now:

Register for Classes

Vitanna.org

Google doc: Story Robot

Google doc: "Lovestruck Conceptualization Stuffz"

Grooveshark

an AMAZING cover of Shake it Out - Florence and the Machine

Guilty Pleasure

Jess's 341 Script

Alicia Key - Girl on Fire lyrics

Adele - Set Fire to the Rain lyrics

Lady Gage - Edge of Reason lyrics

Blog post: "Un-memorizing the Silence is Sexy Date Script"

This one is really interesting you should check this out.
Blog post: Marry Young

Haven't actually read this one yet. 

Gmail

I've been inspired especially lately to do some writing that is autobiographical. My friends, Sam and Greg have both recently posted openly about hard times in their lives and I think it is beneficial for us to  share stories of our more difficult times because it connects us as humans. 

On Friday a group of us got to meet with Kushal, founder of Vittana and to start he asked us why we were interested in social innovation.

I had not consciously thought about it before but I love film because I love telling stories about people. People are the most wonderful thing in this world. We are important and we all have unique stories, but we also share the same emotions. We are connected, whether we like it or not.

So look forward to more posts about ME. Or never come back. That works too. 

According to Science...

There's this article about a Japanese robot that was programmed to "love."

I would've titled it: Robot Programmed To Love Becomes Clingy Boyfriend

Speaking of being in love with technology...

Speaking of loving technology...this.

Christian Bale's stand-in got his own Batman suit...Think about that for a second. You want to be that guy.

I want to do a mash-up of:

Girl on Fire - Alicia Keys

The Edge of Glory - Lady Gaga &

Set Fire to the Rain - Adele

Can anyone help me with that? I just pretend like I have musical skills, but I don't.

Does anyone want to teach me voice lessons over the summer? I'll teach you something in exchange...anything you want. 

If you go to the restaurant "There's no place like Home" in LA...I recommend the chicken pomodoro sandwich. 

Real Lyfe.

The summer after my Freshman year I blogged everyday. Every. Day.

We were lucky enough to have Ross McElwee come screen his movie and speak to us in two different forums at BYU. He is a cool guy, who I can appreciate a lot more than when watching his movie, Bright Leaves, was the last thing I had to do to get into the film program--at the time it nearly killed me.

I am going to be honest, even though it betrays how people think a good film-major should think and believe, I don't like documentaries. Now that I've said that, I really do like documentaries, but they are hard for me. I hate that they leave me feeling like I need to change my life. I hate that they are always so one-sided and I hate that they act like they know everything.

Those are all generalizations.

A good documentary, and they definitely exist, gives you a slice life--someone else's life--and that is a magical thing. I don't know what it is like to live in the Middle East, or what a struggle it is to restart your life after being a porn star, or how crayons are made. But I can experience those things via documentaries.

Let's take a moment and remember Mr. Roger's and all the things we learned on his show.

Documentaries are good. They show us how the world works. They introduce us to people we would never meet otherwise. 

Ross's work is interesting because some of his films are autobiographical, which brings me back to when I used to blog everyday. I would talk about my life. Then I thought my life was too boring so I stopped. But, maybe it's not. Maybe we all have very interesting lives and we shouldn't keep ourselves from talking about them. 

It seems self-indulgent, but I it's not. We love reality tv. We love watching the news. We like real life. Conclusively, we should all tell our own stories.

Lastly, this week's Parks and Recs was Uh-MAZE-ing.

She is the wooooooooorst. 

I'm So Charitable and Other Humble Things...

Disclaimer: This is not turning into one of those "I am a wonderful human with a wonderful, perfect life" blogs...I just happened to have a good week.

In MCOM we were invited to "buy a stranger a Coke". Originally I was going to use it as an excuse to be adorable and win over some attractive male...

Well, my friend Diana is a good person and she arranged for us to feed a whole group of strangers an entire meal. I just cut the potatoes, but it felt good to serve.  There was no actual Coke, but I think it counts. 

Speaking of strangers, here's a group of people I didn't know. 

But we ended up being a dream team. The Laycock center is in the middle of the Fine Arts Center on campus that encourages inter-departmental relations (collaboration, that is). 

So they kicked off this 24-hour competition and we had to get in groups of five with at least three different majors.

Thus it happened that one (1) Visual Art Major (and his kick-a GF), two (2) Communications majors, and two (2) film majors became one.

We combined all of our talents came up with a nifty campaign including a video and an animated logo and a budget. It was nice to use all of our strengths. 

Then we were in the top three. And then we won the money to develop our campaign further. All only 26 hours after hearing about the project.

Oh, $5K, you're so funny.

But here's the really cool part. If I hadn't done this competition I wouldn't know about vittana.org an organization that helps students in poorer countries fund their education.

It's like another organization kiva.org and works through micro-financing. You loan the money so someone can get an education and after they graduate they pay it back and you can invest the money into someone else's education. People are given opporunities they couldn't otherwise afford, but still are self-sufficient. 

Seems like a win-win-win.

We serve other people because we care. It doesn't matter how well we know each other, we should just buckle down and get things done. 

Media Likes

I have to write this blog post for class and I don't have anything to say because I've been busy writing/developing things for my screenwriting classes and for the Mayhew writing competition.

So here's some stuff I like.

If you haven't ever watched Parks and Recreation you should change that right now because it is a fantastic comedy. I would recommend it to everyone and so would my mother. Most of its greatness comes from its dedication to its characters they are consistent unlike many TV shows that just change character traits to fit weird dramatic plot lines. Watch it on Netflix. Skip the first season.

My favorite film of the Oscar nominees is Silver Linings Playbook, even though I have a hard time remembering the name. It's rated R for swears, lots of swears, but it is such a wonderful story about two imperfect characters that are perfect in their own ways. I loved it. Go see it. 

Songs I like:

Also, go see plays at the Echo Theater on University Ave. Just saw Happy, Little Secrets there. That was a really good little play that gave an insight into some difficult issues people have to deal with.

That's all I've got this week.