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May 31, 2012

LA Memorial weekend.

 I didn't take nearly enough pictures of this trip. But here are some from the phone.

me: Row 20...I bet we're not that far back.
(later) Kelsie: Not that far back, eh? We're in the last row.

I can't think of many things that aren't improved by a fried egg.
After we ate these burgers we were sitting in the car in the parking lot when police chased a guy in a car into the parking lot and both cops jumped out of the car. It wasn't too big of a showdown, but did add some excitement to our first night in LA.

If you are going to see this movie, don't watch the trailer. If you're not going to see it, just watch the trailer ten or so times, because it's awesome. 

Long Beach. Shoreline Village. Where I ate the best churro of my life thus far.

Beach with the bros.
lost yet another hair tie into the ocean, sorry fish.

cement picnic with tacos from a truck. wish granted.

looking gorgeous even after a day at the beach.

Not pictured:
Wonderful Italian food at Pinocchio's (Burbank), where instead of Italian they spoke Spanish. Figures.
Memorial Day fireworks Sunday night.
Those Louisiana fried things Whit made us.
The worst breakfast burritos ever. 
That goofy guy at the restaurant we went to who was half asleep as he tried to make recommendations. 
Baby kitties. 
Good conversations.
Roadtrip back where we ate Burger King twice (they have good smoothies, btw).
and much, much more.

I'm ready to go back.

May 25, 2012


pictures from my phone 20 May 2012
we ate quesadillas and stared at the sun.

the baby sheep were a bonus.

birthday and birthday eve.

Tuesday I fulfilled my two month long dream of wanting to try Station 22's Footlong Corndog.
It was not everything I hoped for.
Little known fact is I am a part-time connoisseur of corn dogs.
But it was free because the girl thought DJB and I were on a date and automatically rung them up together, ha! I wasn't about to correct her.
I liked the sandwich (don't remember which) that I got there before better.
But the fries are good and seasoned well.

Then on my way off campus I spontaneously ran into someone from my ward 2 years ago that I completely forgot about and a friend who was going to visit other friends I had been meaning to catch up with. I ran into the first guy again today. It's enough to make someone believe in serendipity, the fact that in a school of 30,000 I run into the same ten people over and over in completely different places. It's all conveniently orchestrated and gives life such a Truman Show feel.

I can't go anywhere without running into several people I know and all the people I know know each other somehow.

Tuesday night I decided Angela might be my favorite person to shop with as she can talk me into things with lines like, "That shows off your awesome body." and "You have to get it because it looks hot." My post-mission self is still a little reserved after months of calf length skirts. "Is this too tight?" "It's a swimsuit." and she painted my toes with glitter. Now and again I enjoy being a girl, I just have to be talked into it. She also bought me a delicious cupcake from the Sweet Tooth Fairy, winner of cupcake wars.

Afterward, instead of doing homework I made red velvet cake-cookie sandwiches with cream cheese frosting in the middle. I brought them to class because I miss birthdays in elementary school where people bring treats. They were a hit.

Birthday dinner involved everyone I love, who could, coming to Slab. I wish I had taken a picture. I adore you all. And then Di bought me a Cocoa Bean drink. I came home and my roommate had made me brownies.

So overall a happy couple of days and my body hates me.

May 23, 2012

missed connections.

Sometimes we fall instantly in love with people we don't really know.
Or at least I do. If you don't you should try it.

That old man sitting on the bench, what is he doing there? Is he waiting for someone?
That lady in the store juggling children, strollers, and her merchandise. 
The stranger you make significant eye contact with.
That person at church/school/work you've never actually talked to.

That little baby inside your stomach that didn't quite make it. 

I just think, hey little friend that I've never really met and never will. 
I love you lots and I know there is something special about you that I will never know. 
I'm thinking these thoughts I will never tell you.
But I don't need to know you personally to love you all the same
and to feel a little absence when you leave.

I'm convinced heaven is reconnecting with not just the people we know and love, but the people we never got to know but still love. Or those we didn't get to know well enough.

May 14, 2012

What the Heck, Colbie?

Lightning striking the heart was MY idea.

bits and pieces.

I just want to yell to him, "Marry her, you fool! Because you're never going to find someone who willingly looks as ridiculous in photos as you."

I cannot believe how many single people there are who don't want to be single...how are you not all 
finding each other and solving this problem? Just give in.

On more than one occasion in my life I have been described as "stubborn" and I think that's probably an accurate assessment. You, good people have probably never felt this way, but I feel like sometimes I am even stubborn against myself. Like I know what I want/should do and I still don't do it...for no real reason. Like doing my homework right now.

I am falling madly in love with writing and photography and to heck with cliches, I will do what everyone else does and I will be better than some people at it!!!

I think what I love most about my mom is that she never tried to make me be anything that wasn't "me" or at least if she tried it didn't work. 

Today, as we ate sandwiches in the kitchen at church in between classes (hunger happens) Kelsie asked "when you imagine yourself somewhere in five years, in your element, where do you picture yourself?"
I didn't know how to answer and I've thought about this quite a bit especially on my mission when I had an opportunity to live in a variety of places. I just feel like I can adjust to just about anywhere. I like Oregon where there is no sun. I like big cities. I like countrysides and big porches. I like my home back in Salem that is somewhere in between. I like the beach. I like the mountains. I like small cozy houses, I like big spacious houses. I could work I could be a stay at home mom. I could see myself with two kids or with five kids. I just have no idea. Though, today for the first time ever, in the spirit of motherhood I actually decided maybe I will be able to handle being pregnant. 

Sleep feels so useless when there is life to be living.

May 9, 2012

I don't want to go to class I just want to sit here and write and write and create and create and let these ideas in my head run wild because it's so exciting, even if it ends in a train wreck....turns out train wrecks are kind of cool too. At least it means something happened. (NOT implying that death and destruction is cool, but you know what I mean). I love creating. I love that my studies, my job, my life allow me to create every day.

I love that I surround myself with creative people or people that inspire me to be creative in their own ways. Even when that was is being a total tool. Those people are such an important part of life too. Isn't that fantastic? 

Really contemplating skipping my class, but being a good student is just about the only thing I know how to control in my life right now so I should probably stick with it. I love how straightforward school is sometimes. You show up, you do your work, you turn it in. You get a grade. You leave. You do it again. Depending on the class you can be as emotionally involved as you want to be. 

Then again, sometimes it's not straightforward at all and you have no idea what your teacher/TA is trying to get out of you and you are cross and discouraged always.

But right now it just gives me purpose in life. And I like that. 

May 7, 2012

human interactions.

One of the things I like about being Mormon (or any other good community of people) is that you can go to the house of a bishopric member at 9:30 (of a ward that you technically arent even a part of) at night and sit in a comfy leather chair and listen as his wife answer a question someone asks about making sacrifice in marriage. and then, for that half hour or so, you don't feel so much like a lonely, familyless college student. 

If you would like to know what she said, it was along the lines of this...

When you get married you sacrifice, to a certain extent your individuality. You can't just do whatever you want whenever you want anymore. You can't make all your own decisions...But when you get married, if it is a good marriage, you become even more you that you've ever been. You realize that what you thought was all of you was really just a half that becomes whole when put together with another half. And you learn to negotiate so that neither of you have to give up the things that are most important to you. Because you still have your hopes and dreams and you need a spouse that will let you do those things. 

Or having professors that you feel like you can talk to about just about anything. Because sometimes you just need a more adult than you influence in your life. These are things to be grateful for. 

My brother and his wife came into town this weekend, which was awesome. But I'm going to be honest, and you can take this as a compliment, I am less than pleased with how all of you left me all at once, even though most of you are coming back in a matter of weeks. It's like I'm the one who left all over again because we were all partying and having fun and all the sudden you're all partying elsewhere, most of you in exciting and exotic places. How is that fair?? Stop making me miss. Though it is probably a good thing because it gives me more of a chance to do my homework...which still isn't done. Socializing with strangers is good for me too.

May 4, 2012

bravery and also just passion for passion's sake.

I have this friend, named Elizabeth. She is beautiful inside and out and inspires me on an almost daily basis. This is my favorite of her latest work, found here.

“You are crazy!” they said. “You are so brave!” they said. “But I wasn’t scared,” I explained, confused.
It’s right there in the straight-up right-now dictionary definition: Brave. Verb. To encounter with courage and fortitude, to defy; to overcome one’s initial fear(s). There is no bravery without a little trembling.

Most the time I am convinced that brave is the best thing to be. 
We Bought a Zoo mentions the idea of 20 seconds of insane courage. Nike says, Just do it. I say, figure out what you want and then go get it. In a conversation with my friend Angela yesterday where I wondered aloud about being too forward she said, "I just know what I want." 

Yesterday, I had a couple different conversations with two of my very favorite people to have conversations with and we talked about fear and how it just gets in the way.

I'm in a screenwriting class and it is changing my life day-by-day. I came to a very serious and very important realization. A realization that I am sure I have come to before, but it's the sort of thing that has to be realized repeatedly to have any sort of lasting effect.

Fear holds us back from accomplishing anything. I was joking that I feel like I am falling in love with writing and then I realized that is exactly what it is. And, in love, as far as I can tell you have to be all-in. Fully invested. Or it'll never work. Nothing will happen. And you'll sit around staring each other in the face. 

Which depending on how good-looking the person is would get dull in about 5 minutes or 5 seconds.

You have got to feel something. I get so riled up about people who don't get riled up. Really? You are just going to sit there and not get excited about life when there are so many things to do, see, hear, touch, smell, and feel!? There is so much doing to do. No wonder there is so much sadness in the world. 

My favorite color is red, my favorite animal is a lion. I like banging my fists on pulpits whenever I get the occasion to do so. Not so much for what they actually are, but for what they represent subconsciously. I don't always use correct grammar and I don't always finish my sentences. 

It happens often that when I am recounting stories of my life to people they ask, "did you really say that." Yes, I did. Because when people get in a conversation with me I am assuming that means they have come looking for my opinion on some matter and if that's not what they want they can talk to someone else. Because that is why I talk to people, because I want their opinions and their stories, I don't want them to tell me what they think I want to hear.  

I'm not perfect at this either. I'll sit down and write a nice little fluffy story because I am too worried about delving into things I actually feel. But when you do delve, that's when real stories start to happen, when you can help other people feel things because you are.

And yes, this does mean sometimes "getting into trouble" but who gives a--. 
I went to craigslist with the intention of finding myself housing for the fall, but instead I clicked on Personal Ads.

There are some good stories in there.

Real people are so real.

May 1, 2012

I don't care who you are you should listen to more A Fine Frenzy.